The Year of Living Softer

I have never lived life in a soft way. I have never prioritized relaxing. I have never been the one to slow down. I’m a tried and true type A, do more, be better babe.

My husband is not. He is a former professional athlete, so he gets shit done and is incredibly high achieving, but he knows how to do less, want less and just chill.

Since we met, I’ve definitely learned to slow down more than I ever have before. And sure, my slow is probably still about 10,000 mph faster than most people. But it’s slower for me, and that’s what matters.

In 2026, I’m trying even harder to live softer. Here’s what that looks like for me:

1. Start the day with intention. My husband is the cutest human on the planet and likes to start our day with a good 15-20 minutes snuggling. We will chat a little, be silly, but just start the day cuddling together before we face life’s responsibilities. It’s such a huge mood boost and reminds me whatever happens during the day, we’ve got each other to come back to. If you don’t have a partner, try this with a pet!

2. Resting. I genuinely cannot fathom the idea of sitting around for an entire day unless I am deathly ill. But I am finding time to sit around for a few hours and do nothing. No phone, just a show or a book and sitting around in my sweatpants.

3. Acting my wage. Ok, I do make good money. But I’m also paid for the quality of work I do and based on a 40 hour work week. I have to travel more often than a lot of folks. Believe me, they get their money’s work out of me. I’m setting boundaries and doing my best to only work overtime when it’s an emergency - and let’s be clear - it is rarely an emergency.

4. Caring less. Hello, I am a people pleaser. And a lot of people are surprised by that but for me it goes with the whole being the best mentality. I’m working really hard to care less about what other people think; especially people who’s opinions I don’t value or who don’t mean much to me in general. I’m putting my energy into the people and places that do give me meaning - including myself!

5. Movement. I am a former D1 athlete. Fitness is important to me. But what’s even more important is simple movement and what that does for my mental health. I prioritize at least an hour a day for movement. Whether its lagree, a hot girl walk, peloton - whatever! I move my body and force myself to not work or do anything but be present in that time.

6. Less phone time. This one is hard. I am attached to my phone either for work or texting or looking things up on Google for literally no important reason. This one will take time, but I’m already using my phone less and being present more. I hope to continue that trend. I don’t owe anyone an immediate response but I do owe myself time off technology.

7. Write shit down. I bought myself a new planner that has space for goals, daily intentions and forces me to not only put work deadlines but prioritizde myself outside of work. If I see it written down, it feels like I need to do it and check it off the list. It also forces me to be reasonable in what I’m trying to achieve. I can make the HGW happen, but maybe I don’t need to be running a 10K.

8. Nourishing my body. My husband is an incredible cook (I am so lucky). I also really love to cook and meal plan. We make time to get to the store each week and build out a breakfast/lunch/dinner plan each week. And while we eat out more than I’d like, we also cook together and ensure we have healthy food options in the house (and unhealthy, balance!).

9. Prioritizing girl time. I’m married now and spend 99% of my time with a man. He’s amazing, I love him, he’s my best friend. But life without girlfriends is unimaginable to me. From weekly dinners to saunas and yaps to walks to weeklong+ girl trips - I prioritize my girls. That will always be a critical priority for my joy.

10. Dogs. I lost my beloved Nashville about 9 months ago. That has been such an incredible pain and I don’t know if it will ever lessen. But we have two heelers that I’ve become mom to through my husband and spending time with them, loving on them, helps remind me what matters.

If you’re type A (hello first born daughters) like I am, I hope these help inspire you to live life a little softer. I’ll be honest, I’ll never live the softest life, but incorporating micro slow downs is something I can reasonably do while still feeding my type A soul. What a soft life looks like is so personal. I can’t ever imagine getting to 8 hours of doing nothing (even if I’m on a beach, I need stimulation and movement!) but I do enjoy my little slow starts and Sunday afternoon loafs. Hope you can find something that works for you!

Never Settle

When I opened up more publicly on the socials about my partner (like I hadn’t said a word until I soft launched him the day we got engaged LOL), I had a lot of folks tell me it gave them hope. And that both makes me sad and really happy. Sad because 39 is hardly at some end of the road, late in life time to meet your person. And happy because people should be inspired to never settle.

I met my now husband on the apps, as one does in these times. I was at the point of needing to take a break from app dating when I met him; like I was about 24 hours from deleting the apps for a reset. So believe me when I say that I understand how absolutely depressing dating is. Especially in these times, especially in your late 30’s. But for me, it wasn’t about being older. The depressing part was because I’m old enough to know settling is never an option. Old enough to be comfortable and confident in myself, what I want and more importantly, what I deserve.

Let me be so very clear - I know my value and I would rather be single for the rest of my life than spend one minute in an unhealthy, unhappy relationship.

So what made me stick around and continue to get to know this one? What led me to get over my own bullshit (fear of commitment) and go all in - quickly at that?

1. He did what he said. If he asked me on a date, he followed through, and he planned a date. If we discussed calling or texting to check in, he did that.

2. He didn’t play any games. He believes in connection and if he’s interested in a woman, he doesn’t continue to date other women. He sees that relationship - whatever it does or doesn’t become - through before entertaining anyone else. I never had to question if there were other women, how many, or what stage he was at with them, it was just about getting to know me

3. He called me on my bullshit. I have a deep fear of commitment. And I’d never met anyone I was willing to push past that for to actually show up in a healthy way. He called me out in a realistic - not mean - way and it forced me to decide whether I was going to be better for myself and us or walk away.

4. He was an open book. Probably too open candidly. But he knew what he was looking for, he knew his strengths and weaknesses and didn’t want to put up any fronts. He wanted to show up authentically, share the good bad and ugly and see if we fit. I wasn’t ever wondering his story.

5. He was willing to do the work on his own bullshit. He’s not perfect either. He knows that. But when I’ve asked for the work to be done, the changes to be made, he’s done it. And I know he will continue to do so as we both grow and change together.

6. Our general values align. He’s progressive, a feminist and believes in being a good person to others. He values community, he knows I’m loud and proud about my social justice beliefs and actions and he’s willing to have tough discussions. He’s a former professional athlete and understands wins and losses and getting back up stronger. We both value experiences over money and things (but know we have to work hard to earn the money to do the experiences) and we don’t want kids (but want to resuce every dog in the world).

7. He shows up. I’m not perfect either (I know, wild). He loves all of me, not just the shiny parts. He shows up when shit is hard, he is a true teammate and I know that when things are hard we both can do anything.

8. He doesn’t believe in soulmates. And neither do I. We don’t think we are destined to be together. We actively choose each other everyday. And that’s bigger than any “God brought us here for each other” that is just not reality. We would both be perfectly fine without each other because of this. But we know life is better together, so we show up for each other every day.

I used to have a whole lot of nonegotiables that in fact are not important. I think a lot of it was protecting myself from pain. But you can refuse to settle and still understand relationships are not a fairytale. Marriage is the coolest thing in the world and also really hard. It always will be. Humans are flawed and ever changing and that means marriages are the same.

Yes, I wanted until 39 to find my person. No, that’s not old. I’d wait until 99 if it meant never settling. Please don’t let yourself get wrapped up in timelines or societal expectations. They’re not real. I love that I had 39 years to learn, date, grow, change, fail, have my heartbroken, explore the world, be independent, invest in my friendships and then find my partner. And I’m still learning, growing, exploring the world, investing in my friendships, being my own independent and wild woman. To love me means knowing that can never ever change. I’m a force of nature and I love that so much about me.

Yes, life is good with my forever human. But the longest and closest relationship I’ll ever have is with myself. I am most proud that relationship is on lock first so that settling was never an option for me.

This is 40

I recently turned 40! As a woman, I’ve been taught since a very early age that 40 is scary. Aging for women is bad. It’s all a lie. Aging is a privilege.

I’ve always been a bit afraid of aging too. I am very aware of how short life is and how precious of a gift this time we have is. But I’ve never feared looking older, not being what a woman is expected to be, not meeting societal timelines, none of it. My 30’s were amazing. Each decade has been so much sweeter than the last and I know the 40’s will be the same. That being said, let me impart a little wisdom on women in your 20’s and 30’s.

Women in your 20’s (Be 20-something)

• Your 20’s are a time of exploration. Do dumb shit. Make impulsive decisions. Have more fun. Let yourself be anything but perfect.

• Explore your career options. Take the time to do the things you aren’t sure are the right fit, or they’re scary to take a risk on. Your 20’s are for figuring out what’s possible

• Know your place and grind. At work you should also be willing to grind and do the other duties as assigned. Show your value, show you’re willing to do the hard shit and be someone people see the potential in.

• Be a girls’s girl. Please learn this young. Show up for other women and be someone who empowers other women. This will serve you for the rest of your life

• Go to therapy. Start young. Learn how to love yourself, deal with your trauma and become a better version of yourself

• Put your friends in boxes and have a whole lot of them. In your 20’s you’re learning who you are and who your people are. Know who you can go to for the fun, the deep connections, the support, etc. Start to figure out who brings you peace and joy so that when you get to your 30’s you have a strong core.

• Be kind to yourself. Your 20’s are hard. You’re insecure, exploring and have no idea what you’re doing. That’s the point. Give yourself a break. You’re going to make mistakes. Be a good person and do your best.

• Travel. Figure it out and go. Whether it’s to a city next door or a country across the world, travel. Learn about new cultures, meet different people, figure out that there is a whole big world outside of you.

Women in your 30’s (Show up)

• Show up better. You’re no longer 20, you’ve got enough life experience, learned enough lessons and know what’s right and wrong. Make less excuses and show up better for yourself and others.

• Stay in therapy. You should have the foundation of tools from starting therapy in your 20’s. Use your 30’s to really get deep and do big work. You can’t blame your trauma anymore, you’ve got to have tools and be putting them to action.

• Have goals and be working towards them. At work you should be in a steady career or working towards one. Be able to pay your bills and plan for the future. Things happen (layoffs, etc) but for the most part you should have a general plan and be putting the work in.

• Date intentionally. If your goal is marriage or long term and stable, stop playing games. Stop dating for attention. Date for the sole purpose of those goals. If you’re not looking for long term and stable, be open about that. Treat others with respect and avoid misunderstandings. Be intentional whichever path you’re on romantically.

• Love yourself. You’re old enough to know yourself and you’re too old to be insecure. Own the good parts, work on the bad parts but be so confident in who you are that others are unable to change your perspective of yourself.

• Make your circle small. Only invest in people who bring you peace and joy. Cut out the rest. You are not here to make everyone like you. Spend time with people who bring deep connections and make you better.

Getting older is a privilege. It’s so cliche but so very true. Getting to experience the years so many do not is such a gift. We get to exist at a time unlike any other before us and any after us. And we get to meet cool people and fall in love and win big at work and see the coolest places and it’s all so much bigger than telling women they’re over at 40. I’m excited for what my 40’s have to offer. And I’m so grateful to love myself and be in this place in life more than any other time before.

Flip the Switch

I’ve always talked about working really hard at balance. At not giving so much to work. At focusing on getting more out of life. I look back on blogs where I said I’ve changed and I really hadn’t. I still don’t think I have. But now more than ever, I feel like the switch in my brain that puts all the pressure on myself has flipped.

I have always been type A. I have always worked hard. I have never known how to half ass anything. And my take it east is often others’ 110%. I just don’t have an off switch.

A lot of that is I think fear of sitting still. It’s knowing that when I stop moving I hear that voice in my head when I stop that says “get back at it.” It’s the fear of knowing when I stop moving, I have to face the things that have contributed to my anxiety and PTSD. And that never felt possible to face.

I’m not sure whether it’s therapy, changing my circle, taking time to not date or always be talking to someone, or a combination of everything but it all feels a lot more possible to face.

Because I’m more aware of why I am the way I am, why I react the way I react, why I have the fears and feelings I do, I now feel more able to face them and make a change.

Oh, and this casual year three of a pandemic might have caused change too.

The switch still toggles, I wouldn’t say it’s completely flipped, but it’s well on it’s way.

I care less about titles and the grind. I don’t think working 24/7 makes me someone to admire. I don’t care as much about making sure I am the best at everything I do in the workplace. I realize my value is more than what I do and where I do it. I want to experience life outside of the office. I want to travel and spend time with the people who genuinely make me feel good. I value making time for my passion projects.

I think I burnt myself out on overachieving.

And to be honest, what have I really achieved that I place a lot of value on?

I’m exhausted. I care less about the things I’m doing at work. I care less about talking about what people do for a living.

And above all else, I have started to notice when I do prioritize work and the way I talk about careers. I started to notice that other people didn’t do these things. I started to see that I was missing out on relationships and events that are what make life full. And I realized how much I let work and my career define my entire mindset and mood.

I don’t want that anymore. I don’t value that anymore.

I will always work hard. I will always value my reputation. I will always want more out of everything that I do.

I think I’ll always be 110%. I just need to redistribute how and when to do so. I can’t be 110% all the time.

I hope that what you get out of this is that if you’re feeling exhausted and frustrated and ready for a change, you’re not alone. This time has caused a major shift for a lot of us.

Sit in it, marinate in it and let it force a change. If you are not getting the most out of life, you need to make changes. It doesn’t have to be all at once, but you have to make change.

Personally, this pandemic, this country in turmoil, it’s pushed me to the edge and made me want more . I’m not sure what that looks like long term, but I have started to finally, finally actively put boundaries in place and switch up my behavior at the office and in my personal life.

It’s been nothing but positive. So I’m going to keep going. I’m going to keep pushing myself completely out of my normal comfort zone until everything feels right again.

I hope you will too.

Boundary Buddies

I have a really hard time setting boundaries at work. I am a token overachiever, type A, OCD human and I find it almost impossible to detach from that. I can finally say that at this point in my life, I am unwilling to priotize work above all else. My personal time & life matters to me so much. Work doesn’t define me and I am not defined by my work.

Now that I’m starting a new job, I want to set expectations and bnoundaries in advance and avoid burning myself out. The only way I’ve determine that can be done is with the help of a boundary buddy. Or an accountability partner? Whatever term you use, I’m getting one.

My boundary buddy actually suggested this to me. She saw my anxiety over getting myself in another situation where I feel the need to prove myself and forget to set boundaries and she said you’re too old for this and it’s not happening this time around. We also deeply connect on a spiritual level and understand each other and whatb we want in life.

And thus the boundary buddy was born.

We have set biweekly check ins with each other to ensure that I’m sticking with my new plan. We also talk about things we both struggle with between work, love and life because that’s what buds do - they help each other.

For me — the focus right now is boundary setting.

Having someone checking in and calling me out on my actions is really important. It keeps me accountable and to be honest, I don’t want to let her down because she believes in me and a well rounded life.

I get that being a grown woman and having someone else keep me accountable seems a bit off. But I deeply struggle with boundaries and if I’m left to my own devices, no boundaries will be set. I need a coach and an accountability buddy to get me in the groove and on the right track.

The hope is that eventually I’ll be able to set boundaries and hold to them on my own.

Moral of the stroy today? Sometimes life is really hard. Sometimes we struggle greatly with aspects of it. Sometimes we need a little help.

That’s brave. And that’s progress. Saying I can’t do this on my own, please help me is the scariest and bravest thing I have ever done. The fact that I’m even at this point is something I attribute to a mix of therapy, medication and doing the damn work.

I am one independent babe, but needing help isn’t shameful, it’s recognizing that life is meant to be done in teams. And I want to be on a winning one.

The Guilt is Heavy

I am exhausted. I am anxious. My insomnia has been completely unmanageable. I’ve really struggled the past month and I feel guilty for that.

I’m one of the lucky ones. Gainfully employed. Incredible benefits. I’m generally healthy. I have a great support system. A safe home. I have every basic need and more during this time.

So I truly struggle with the idea that I can struggle during this time.

I know that’s unrealistic. Comparing traumas or hardships or feelings is not healthy and it isn’t helpful to downplay my own issues.

I think there’s a balance.

It’s ok to struggle but have an understanding that it could be worse. There’s no need to downplay your feelings or needs but there is something to be said for being grateful for what you do have.

I’m not talking toxic positivity. I’m talking perspective.

If 2020 has taught me anything its that I don’t need a whole lot of the things I thought I did. I want a lot of things but don’t truly need them.

So while my anxiety and stress and the things I’m going through this year are very real and very valid, I can take solace in the fact that my life is pretty damn good.

It’s a weird year. And it doesn’t end just because the clock strikes 12 on December 31st.

Give yourself grace to struggle and persevere. Give yourself time to just sit in whatever moment you need to. And without engaging in toxic positivity, gain a little perspective and know that being grateful helps any situation.

Milestones

I wanted to elaborate on milestones. As I mentioned last week, I’ve spent the last five yeas really reevaluating what life expectations actually align with what I want out of my time here.

Society does a lot to remind us that life is supposed to be an organized list of accomplishments.

You are born, you go to school, you get a job, you get married, you buy a house, you have some kids, you retire, you die. That’s the list and everything is required in a certain time frame or your society fairy will fine you and report you to the police. And then you will go to prison and die. These are the rules.

So like a lot of us who grew up with parents who did these things, I had these expectations for myself.

And then when I didn’t check these boxes in the time frame society told me to, I started to panic.

My society fairy would show up at 24 and tell me hey babe your friends from college are actually making 6 figures in the city and you’re making $32K and can’t afford top ramen most days.

At 26 she tapped me on the shoulder and said hey gorg, know that you’ve got a whole roster of men folk (love that for you) but you should have picked and married one by now. Meanwhile it’s Sunday at 9am and you’re grabbing your shoes from this guys floor and your cousin is picking you up because you left your car at the bar (we didn’t have uber then you little Gen z babies, the walk of shame was a true experience).

At 30 the bitch straight up called and said ok we have a problem. You’e 30, unmarried, not a millionaire and everyone else is on a private jet to Mykonos but you’re drunk at the Grand Canyon.

And now in a few months, at 35, my society fairy is going to bring a committee of society fairies to stage an intervention. 35 and gasp unmarried? NO children? You’re not a homeowner counting your big fat 401k from your Tesla SUV? HOW DARE YOU! The audacity.

But alas my friends, it is true. I’m going to be all of these things and more.

And I’d like to say to my society fairy and her panel of drag judges — we love it here.

Society has told me to do all the things and I truly thought I wanted and needed those things to live a complete and happy life. Without them surely I would be a failure and miserable human being. A curse upon my soul. A pox upon my overpriced apartment.

I’d like to let you in on a little secret — I’m neither of those things.

I am thriving. Some days sure, I don’t wash my hair, I wear dirty clothes, I spend all day eating cheese an chocolate and I don’t speak to other humans.

I like those parts of my life.

I like the life I have built and the experience I’m having here on Earth.

I am open to marriage most days, consider having kids about 1 day a month, and I do plan to buy a house soon. Maybe 2.

I also think that if you know me, the me that is authentically myself, it makes perfect sense to you that my wild spirit would never follow the rules of society. She’s too stubborn for that.

It makes no sense to me to think I would have been married in my 20’s when I was having the time of my life while simultaneously trying to be everything to everyone except myself.

It is unimaginable that I would trade the bucket list experiences I had in sports for a high powered city job and six figures.

When my society fairy taps me on the back these days, I tell her calm down babe, I’ll get to it. Or I won’t, I haven’t decided yet. But text me later k?

The whole point is that I am now in control. Or out of control? And I am more easily able to sit in uncomfortable feelings of falling behind and say is this a society fairy shoulder tap or how you’re really feeling? And if the answer is an authentic yearning for something, I go out there and make space for that thing in my life.

Milestones are incredible. They help create a full life. But are the milestones you have on your list ones that you have created or ones your society fairy has brought to you to fulfill?

Marinate in whatever space your society fairy sticks you in, but don’t stay there long. Hear the girl out, but don’t blindly follow her lead.

Build a life full of milestones that meet your expectations, make you proud, and make your journey feel full. That’s a life of milestones that matters.

Fake Adult

I’m about to be 35 in a couple months.

When I was 16, 35 to me was the time in which I would be married, have 2.5 kids, a house in the suburbs and a bitchin car in the driveway.

My 35 doesn’t look like that.

Having spent the last 5 years redefining what I thought my future was supposed to be has been a journey. It’s been a whole lot of unlearning societal expectations, struggling with those milestones not reached, and realizing that a lot of the things I thought I wanted were in fact just things I thought we did as adults.

And now, as I come upon an age that seemed about 1,000 yeas away, I feel like a fake adult.

I’m doing all the things society tells you to do when it comes to being an adult. I have a great job, I’m paying my bills, I’m not committing wild crimes. I generally make it through the day without any trouble.

All the things on paper, I’m out here doing them.

Internally though, I feel 25. I feel like there’s so many of the things I’m not checking off. I’m not married. I don’t have kids (nor any real desire right now to have any), I don’t own a house. Did buy myself the bitchin new car though.

All in all, you’d look at me and say yes queen, adult away, B+ on Wednesdays but all other days you’re easily an A- or better. Keep up the good work and check back in at 36.

I would be lying if I didn’t say the society fairy doesn’t check in with me once in awhile to be like hey girl, just wanted to point out that we generally expect xy and z at this age so you’re late and we want you to know we sent a memo to everyone else in the world letting them know.

When that society fairy comes through I do allow her to sit there a little longer than I should. I do let her poke me with doubts and sometimes I even let her toss me down a spiral of shame and fear.

Yet most days, most days I think to myself, maybe we are all just fake adults.

Maybe the woman living the life I thought I was supposed to at 35 is sitting here thinking she’s fake adulting because she doesn’t have it all together like she thought she would.

Maybe the high powered career babe is thinking shes a fake adult because everyday she doubts herself and how she got to where she did.

Maybe the single Sex & the City Samantha babe living her NYC dream also feels like a fake because she’s thriving in her womanhood but doesn’t know how to turn on the stove in her penthouse.

I sort of think maybe we are all fake adults who spend each day just trying to make it out alive. I believe that society puts all these rules and expectations and marketing and says ok you guys, go out there and be this adult today! And then next week, you also have to do it while running a marathon and writing a novel! And if you don’t do it all, you’ve failed and we will send your society fairy to remind you.

So yea, maybe I am a fake adult because I don’t have a husband, 2.5 kids, and a house in the suburbs. Maybe some days I have cheese for dinner. Maybe some weeks I wear the same shorts 5 days in a row. Maybe I spend too much time watching teen romantic comedies and swooning while also judging the characters for not being badass enough. And maybe at the end of the day, I still pay all my bills, feed my dog, do the laundry, create meaningful relationships, exercise, and laugh.

And just maybe, that’s what being an adult is anyways. It’s faking it until you make it. And maybe, we are all just a whole bunch of fake adults smiling at each other when we are really thinking “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing either.” And maybe we should just say that to each other more.

The Measure of Success

Growing up I always associated success with winning. Being the best. Having the most. I thought success was titles and money and being a champion.

I realized the other day just how much my measure of success has changed.

Money matters to me. I like having a comfortable life. I like upgraded amenities and the ability to travel whenever I want.

I like titles. I love the reward that comes with working hard and being promoted. I enjoy the respect that comes with getting to the next level.

I also don’t need those things to consider myself a success. I don’t need them in excess to show that I have made something of myself.

I think I’ve survived a lot of adversity. The fact that I’ve chosen to commit to overcoming that makes me a success.

That I’ve worked my ass off and now work at one of the world’s most recognizable companies is a success. I never gave up and I never settled.

Success to me is emotional health. It’s financial comfort. It’s mental wellness. Success is love for myself.

Success of my past was entirely related to my career. It was climbing the ladder and never stopping.

Success of my future is joy. It’s confidence. It’s love. I

I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t also driven by my career, but it is not the whole sum of what success looks like.

What does success look like for you?

Maybe Not.

Throughout my egg freezing process, a lot of people couldn’t really comprehend that I am not sure if I want kids. I got a lot of “you’ll change your mind” and “It’s just because you’re single.” It seems to bother women a lot that I may not want to reproduce. Or it feels unbelievable for them.

I don’t know if I want kids. I’m actually leaning more towards not wanting them after freezing my eggs.

And that’s ok. It’s more than ok because it’s my body, my life and my very personal choice.

I’m not sure what it is that makes women not understand that not everyone is born to reproduce or feels that need to have children but it’s such a weird thing for women to accept in another woman.

I love my life. I love that I can travel. I love that I can spend my money and my time on me. And that I can prioritize me. I’m really selfish with my life right now. Bringing a child into that would mean I don’t get to live that way anymore.

For a lot of women, having kids has always been a dream. They want to be moms more than anything in the world, and I think that’s wonderful. One of my very best friends has wanted to be a mom since we came out the womb herself and watching her make that happen - that makes my heart so happy.

The thing is - I like kids. Kids like me. We do really well together. I love to spoiled my friends kids, a lot. And I genuinely enjoy the overload of pictures (yea so I demand to be in the family album on iPhone!) and stories. I absolutely want you to tell me how smart your kid is because fuck yea we are raising this kid to be the next President. I am your community to do that. But I like that I can give them back at the end of the day and get back to my selfish life.

Maybe that will change. Maybe it won’t. Maybe I’ll have 4 kids and adopt 32 more. Maybe I’ll never have any.

Kids and the responsibility that come with them, that’s a big deal. That’s a lot of responsibility and something I want to be damn sure all in for before I start growing one. So instead of challenging the idea that a woman may not want a kid, brushing it off ass nonsense - be thankful that she isn’t out there reproducing because it’s “what you’re supposed to do.” My parents damn sure wanted me (they might was a refund now) and thank the glitter gods they did because kids ain’t easy.

I don’t know if I want kids, and it really isn’t your business to tell me otherwise.