A lot of the work I’ve done in therapy over the years has been to break down my walls and build healthy relationships—romantic, familial, and friendships. And while those tools have beautifully transformed my friendships and family dynamics, nothing has forced me to confront my own issues quite like being married.
Marriage is incredible, but it is really hard. It’s arguably even harder if you do it a little "later" in life. You are two fully formed adults with your own histories, strong opinions, and deeply ingrained routines. You’ve reached a point where you refuse to settle for anything that doesn’t make your life better.
Because of that, there’s no space for your bullshit to linger. Very quickly, you have to become open to being wrong, saying you’re sorry, and doing a whole lot of work to show up for your partner the way they need you to. And they should be doing the exact same for you.
I have trust issues, commitment issues, I’m stubborn, fiercely independent, struggle with PTSD and anxiety, and I am one of the most Type A babes you will ever come across.
I am also incredibly kind, loyal, loving, funny, hot AF, accomplished, smart, cultured, and athletic. I don’t want anyone to think that because I recognize my faults, I am not fully aware that I am a total catch. I am.
But my "added features" are also what make relationships a challenge. My brain doesn’t always compute when I’m the problem. Now, make no mistake—my husband has his faults too, and he puts in the work to overcome them. He drives me absolutely insane at times and hurts my feelings but he is a good man and incredible teammate who works hard to be better for himself and for us. Truly, if I were ever in a place where I felt unappreciated, disrespected, or that he wasn’t showing up for me, I would move on. I love myself enough to know that no partner is ever worth compromising my worth. But I can say with total honesty that the hardest thing I’ve ever had to face in life has been navigating the triggered parts of myself within this marriage.
I say all of this because in 2026, we are completely caught up in the perfect picture of relationships presented by the media and the Instagram highlight reel. I think the reason so many marriages fail today is because we have constant access to compare our worst days with fake narratives, fairy tales, and endless apps showing us "what’s next."
Marriage isn’t easy. But it can be a place where you do the hard work and navigate the hard days, while still being genuinely happy most of the time. And that happiness doesn’t come from grand gestures. It comes from the everyday, quiet little ways you each show up to say: Hey, I choose you again today.
All this to say: never settle for less than you’re worth, but don’t let your own bullshit get in the way of building a real, gritty, incredible fairy tale that actually works for you