Business Games

I love sports.  Sports have been my business for the past 7 years and my passion for as long as I can remember.  I feel a sense of loyalty to the teams and players that I support - I am emotionally attached to the wins and losses as well as how we play the game.  Sports teach you how to be your best and they give fans a sense of ownership.  But at the end of the day - sports are a business. 

The NBA, NFL, MLB - they're the parent company to each team within their organization.  And each team is responsible for creating a successful product.  That product is winning games.  You win games - you sell seats.  When the seats are full, the media sells, concessions sell, gear sells, and so forth.  At the end of the day - winning is what matters.  When you're not winning, its a lot harder to fill seats, garner media interest, and ultimately turn a profit.

So what am I getting at?  I'm trying to show you super fans who yell and scream and curse your teams/players/owners for their lack of loyalty to you/your city that you can cause a ruckus all you want - loyalty in the sports business is to winning.  Nothing else.  I feel your pain.  I went into mourning when Brian Wilson went to the Dodgers.  I hate on the Niners to this day for letting Alex Smith go and going with Kap (although seriously they should listen to me about that after this season...) - but I also understand that what we fans feel - is not what these executives feel. 

Team owners/executives have numbers to produce.  They must produce wins and sell tickets and reach financial goals.  So while you and I are focusing on winning too - we also feel emotionally invested in players.  We love the guy in the community and the rookie who leaves it all on the court.  But to the team - these players are replaceable. They're part of the puzzle until they don't fit.  And then they're plucked off the bus and given a ticket elsewhere.  It's harsh.  It's cold.  It's business.

I've watched it happen.  I've seen the roll call on the bus for the guys who were on their way to a game in Chicago but are now being asked to clear out their lockers and move to a new city.  I've gotten the phone calls threating death to owners, cursing out salespeople, burning of the jerseys and posting it online.  Fans are loyal, emotional, and the lifeblood of the organization.  Certainly without fans - there's no team.  But I'll be really honest with you - if you think your opinions on player deals, playing time, or coaching choices matter - you should put your beer down and go home.  They need you to buy tickets but at the end of the day, with or without you the organization will go on.  Maybe to a new city, but it will go on.

I realize this post is probably a little depressing - but life is tough - I just want to keep it real with you.  But with all of that knowledge being dropped - I want you to know - I'm still just as crazy passionate as you are about my teams.  And even knowing all the behind the scenes of it - I'm still just as irrational as you are when my favorite player gets sent away.  Sure, sports are a business, but they're also my heart.

LinkedIn - The New Facebook?

Our entire lives are based in social media.  You've got Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and about 1,000 other platforms I'm blissfully unaware of.  LinkedIn has become the social media for business.  And with the importance of networking, it's a extremely useful tool for building your relationships and showcasing your work.  But recently I've noticed that the line between Facebook and LinkedIn have been crossing paths quite often.  And what used to be a really great resource for business is quickly becoming just another version of Facebook.

I like boundaries.  I strongly believe in having boundaries in the workplace and keeping personal and professional lives separate.  You don't discuss politics, relationships, or personal issues in the workplace.  For me, LinkedIn is an extension of the business world.  I utilize a professional photo, my status updated are related to my career, and when I engage with others its for business reasons. 

More and more I'm seeing questionably appropriate photos, political rants, and receiving romantically laced emails inquiring about my relationship status or complimenting my appearance. When I see people who are utilizing LinkedIn in this way, I remove them from my network.  And I sincerely hope if you respect yourself as a career person, you will too. 

I'm unsure if people feel its a safe space because they're behind a computer, but in the workplace, these things wouldn't fly.  They wouldn't be appropriate and the people engaging in this way wouldn't be people you respect in business.  LinkedIn is a space where you specifically post your resume and identify your employer.  One would then argue that you are in fact a representative of your employer while engaging in this space.  With that in mind, would you still be engaging on LinkedIn in the manner you are currently doing so? 

Personally, I disengage and I think twice before doing business with anyone who takes this space to a personal, social level.  I question their ability to be effective at their job and to be able to separate business and personal.  If I question your judgment on the internet, I certainly don't have time to risk working with you in the real world.

I really enjoy LinkedIn.  I value the networking aspect and the ability to utilize the website to learn and grow and showcase myself and my company.  I don't think its asking too much to expect reasonable adults to think before they engage in a professional networking space. But it takes accountability and choosing not to engage with people who abuse the network.  Think before you post in general, but use common sense when you're on a website specifically representing you as a career person, and don't be caught out of turn.

No.

I like being someone people can count on.  At work and in my personal life, I'm always the person who says yes.  Yes to more work.  Yes to helping you move.  Yes to all of it.  It's never been about people pleasing.  It's always been about caring about being someone people can turn to for whatever they may need.  It's important my people know that I'mteam player and they're never alone.  And I like to think I do a great job of being that person.  But what I began to notice is that being the yes girl for everyone else meant saying no to me.

As I've gone on this whole journey to better myself, for myself - I've begun to practice the art of saying no.  Without explanation.  without apology.  Without guilt.  It's learning to say no, period. 

Of course it goes without saying (but I'm gonna say it), I'm still here for my people.  When they truly need me, I'm there.  But it's also equally important that I'm there for me. 

Back to me.

Saying no is about making time and having energy to do things for me.  Whether I want to get my nails done, workout, or jut plain sit on my couch - it's acknowledging I need to do something that I want to do and I need to say no to someone else to do that.  It's also about scheduling time to grow and challenge myself.  This year that means working less and traveling more.  So that's what I'm doing.

Saying no is about my mental and physical health.  At work its saying no, I don't have the capacity to add that project to my plate and no I can't stay late tonight.  It's saying no I won't travel simply because I don't have kids.  It's making time each day to decompress and reset myself to a good place. 

Saying no is about taking responsibility.  Have you ever stopped to think about why you may be exhausted or feeling overwhelmed?  Because the more I think about all the things I do, the more I realize that there's a lot I could be saying no to.  You are in control of your time.  And you're in control of how you choose to spend it. 

Saying no, without explanation, is part of growing up.  It's recognizing your time is just as important as everyone else' and its recognizing what you need to maintain a healthy lifestyle.  Think of all that you do for other people and then think about what you do for yourself.  Think about how much you value everyone else.  And give yourself that same value and respect. 

 Say no.  Get rid of the guilt, and allow yourself time to do what you need to do to have your best life.  Time is limited.  Energy is limited.  Life is limited.  Don't limit the possibilities. 

Lucky Charms

I've always been a wild card.  As I've gotten older, I haven't been tamed.  There have been many people along the way who have tried to tone me down - to make me feel badly for who I am.  And then there was my Gammie.  Gammie was the one person who never told me I was too much.  She never tried to change who I am.  Instead, my Gammie used to tell me how proud she was.  She encouraged my dreams, she had patience with my wild ways, and she always made me feel like I'm special for who I am instead of ashamed for who I am not.

My Gammie is my angel.  She's my lucky charm.  Fittingly, her birthday is also St. Patrick's Day.  She passed away in 2008 while I was holding her hand - and has not left my side since.  I have vivid dreams of her and I talk to her when I'm scared.  I ask for her support when I need faith.  In every major milestone since she left - I know she's been there.  She's left me signs, visited my dreams, and makes sure that I know she's watching me and rooting for me every single step on my path.  She's a big part of why I feel so confident in my nontraditional journey, because I'm not really ever alone.

Today is St. Patrick's Day - Gammie's birthday.  And although she's not physically here - I'll always take time to celebrate the woman that has never let me fall.  I never got the opportunity to truly express my appreciation and love for the woman who showed me strength and kindness can coexist.  She taught me a woman is whomever and whatever she wants.  She was the classiest woman I have ever known and showed me that the best revenge is to quietly be the best you can possibly be. To always give back to those in need without hesitation.  And she taught me the value of family. 

So today - a day about luck and believing in magic - I will celebrate all that my lucky charm is to me and all that she has empowered me to be. 

I hope whoever your lucky charms are, you take the time to tell them and love them and celebrate the hell out of who they are and how they make you feel.  Lucky Charms really are magic, and they're not easy to come by.  Don't ever take that for granted.

Rainbows and Unicorns

I've had a lot of people lately tell me that they've always assumed I've lived this perfect life.  A life where everything is unicorns and rainbows.  They assume I've been blessed with it all and that's why I'm such a happy person who talks about glitter and sparkles nonstop. 

And those observations have blown me away.  My life is not perfect.  I do not have it all.  My family isn't perfect.  I am not perfect.  But what I am proud of is that in spite of it all - I radiate sparkles and glitter.

I'm not generally one to talk about the hard times and the problems.  But they're there.  This last year has been the absolute most painful and challenging year of my life.  I have felt completely broken, lost, scared, and unsure of the future. 

I haven't talked about it with a lot of people.  But I'm learning to talk.  And I'm learning to ask for help.  I'm learning how to say I'm not okay.  I'm still not going to share all my trials and tribulations with the world.  My struggles and my triumphs are to be endured and celebrated with the people who mean the most to me. 

However, in an effort to be real and to be a source of relatable engagement for you, I want you to know that I have lived far from a life of unicorns and rainbows.  I have not been gifted an easy life.  And I don't ever want anyone thinking that I have.  But I also won't ever apologize for choosing to focus on the good.  When I suffer, I do so privately.  I pick and choose what I share with the world because I truly believe the biggest moments of your life aren't for the world to see.  They're for you and your chosen circle to handle together.  The good and the bad.  And then you go out into the world and you fight to make it sparkle. 

I don't want to put my negative and hard times out there not because I'm faking my happiness - because I choose to actually live happy.  To believe that in spite of hard times, life is pretty dang good.  Life isn't easy and its often painful.  You can't control what happens to you but what's the point of dwelling on the negative?  How do you expect to have a good life if you don't focus on the good? 

My life will never be rainbows and unicorns.  And I don't need to explain the things I've gone through.  It's not a contest and it doesn't make me anymore human.   I don't feel the need to justify my attitude.  What does make me human is admitting my life isn't easy.  And saying so what - life isn't meant to be easy.  If you always assumed I was this perfect human handed the golden ticket - then I'm doing something right - because the golden ticket is choosing joy, choosing sparkle, and choosing the energy you put into the world. 

#SparkleOn

The Female Form

The female body is celebrated.  It's coveted.  It's held to a higher standard.  The female form is everywhere.  On TV, in books, and all over social media. 

For women, this means as soon as we are old enough to understand - we are bombarded with media telling us our bodies are our value.  Our magazines teach us the best workouts and diets and how to use our bodies to please men.  The fashion world creates a divide between what's pretty and what's plus size or shameful.  And at the end of the day, no matter what we do or achieve, society still wants to talk about our bodies.

Lady Gaga put on one hell of a show at the Super Bowl this year.  And you know what went viral?  That she's got a belly.  Never mind that she doesn't (but who cares if she does) - the real issue is that enough idiots out there put more value on her body than her incredible talent.

Whenever a woman in Hollywood is photographed at an unflattering angle, she gets a cover wondering if she's pregnant.  There's no talk of her recent Oscar, Golden Globe, charity work, none of it.  It's about her having to defend herself because she ate some carbs that day and so she must be pregnant.  This is our news.

I ran into someone I knew in high school a month back and instead of asking me about my next adventure, my family, really anything of substance - he mentioned he saw on Facebook how much I've been working out lately and he's so happy I'm working on getting healthy and in shape.  Meanwhile - I just moved halfway across the country to start a new job and he's glad I'm working on my body.  Mind you - I'm healthy.  Am I heavier than I was at 16 years old when I was playing soccer and on two track teams?  Yea, I am. 

I've talked about my struggles before with body image.  The fact that I too placed a lot of my self worth in my body and what I looked like.  It took me years to overcome and I still have days I struggle.  That motivates me.  Seeing little girls wishing they weighed less and worrying about what they eat, that motivates me.  Hearing my beautiful friends hate nd belittle themselves for how they look, that motivates me.  It motivates me to be careful how I speak to myself, how I speak to others, and to make a conscious effort to stand up for women.

I've been a division one athlete.  I was a junior Olympian.  I've moved to two states I'd never been to before purely on faith in myself.  I'm a really loyal friend and family member.  I donate to charity.  I'm a talented writer.  I have an impressive resume.  I'm funny.  I'm a lot of things that have absolutely nothing to do with how I look.  And not looking like the ideal woman does not take away from any of those great qualities.

Women are so much more than our bodies.  And let's be honest - any body that can grow a human and then give birth to it - that is one incredible feat.  But outside of our amazing bodies, we are mothers and sisters and lovers and we are successful.  We are talented.  We have a lot of awesome things to contribute to the world.  Take the time to learn more about who we are and what we can do - because if you're one of those people who unfortunately place our bodies above all - you're missing out on a lot of awesome.  And its YOU that's the problem, not us.

Bridezilla

Somehow - in my 31 years of life, I've managed to avoid being a bridesmaid.  This could be due to my excessive work schedule and it could be a sign I'm not well liked - either way - it's worked and I appreciate whatever it is that has kept me from this awful tradition.

Well - I can now officially say - I have been a bridesmaid!  On of my core group of babes tied the knot this pat weekend and I was honored to stand by her side as she married the love of her life.  And let me tell you - I did the full bridesmaid.  The whole day of makeup and hair and photos and the dress and shoes - all of it - full commitment to the part.  I even did neutral nails.  ME, who always has full glitter or neon - did neutral nails.

And I have to say - I hope I never have to do it again. 

Jessica truly is the nicest, kindest, most low maintenance friend and bride in the history of history.  She's also stupid gorgeous, which is just rude.  My dress was ridiculously inexpensive, the entire weekend was beyond affordable, the wedding weekend was a dream. There will never be another bride in my life who is less bridezilla than Jess.

And that is why I cannot ever be in another wedding.  I love you my circle of best babes - but I fear Jessica set us all up for failure. 

Now leading up to the wedding Jess wanted a Bridezilla shirt.  She claims it was going to be fitting.  For context - the first thing I asked was what color nail polish to wear because I'm famous for neon or full glitter.  Her answer?  Wear neon!  JESSICA I CANT WEAR NEON IN PHOTOS! The worst bridezilla ever.  Shoes?  Just wear nude, or silver or whatever.  Ladies and gentlemen - the opposite of bridezilla.

Hopefully - enough people don't like me that my days as a bridesmaid are limited.  Not to mention I'm 31, and although I look 22, I may be past bridesmaid prime?  I was spoiled by this horrendously amazing bride and now I fear any other experience will be traumatic. 

Thank you my Thing 1 - for singlehandedly giving me the best bridesmaid experience ever and setting me up for future bridesmaid failures.  Thankfully, I'm not that great of a person, so the future experiences should be limited.

Tell me your best/worst/most entertaining bridezilla experiences! 

#NoFilter

I don't have a filter.  I say a lot of things that most people think, but don't say.  Sure, I've got boundaries.  I generally don't say anything mean spirited and I try not to offend anyone.  But in general, if I think it - I'm probably going to say it.

Often times this gets me intro trouble.  I can say something that's misunderstood.  I say things that make me look stupid.  I take jokes just a little over the line. 

But I'm also really good at humor.  I've got great comedic timing.  I'm also real.  Authentic.  And ultimately you know where I stand.  I make a point to tell you the good with the bad.

And because I lack a filter, I've been told my whole life I'm too much.  That I should tone it down, even change who I am.  For a really long time, I even allowed myself to agree with those people.  I wondered why I couldn't just be quiet and blend in.  I wished I could be one of those sweet and nice girls who doesn't say much and never causes controversy.  I think I even spent a whole 24 hours being that person.  At the end of the day, that's not me.  I was miserable.

I'm a lot.  I'm loud.  I'm opinionated.  And I think my filter is in a gutter in Las Vegas along with my dignity from 2010.  I'm an acquired taste.  For some, I'm not their type at all.  I don't think I'm one of those people you say "yea, she's cool, whatever."  You either love me or you think I'm the worst.

The cool thing about being 30 and not having a filter?  I've figured out who I am. And I'm accepting of who that is.  I realize people may not like who that is.  And that isn't my problem.  I'm a good person (with great hair) who likes to laugh and likes to push boundaries.  I do it with sparkle, sass, and mostly with class.

I don't have a filter.  But honestly, in 2017, we could all do with one less filter in the world.  And because I care, I'll be that girl for us.

The Great State of Texas

I'm a born and raised California girl.  Sure, I did a stint in both Colorado and Arizona, but I am all things California.  When I moved to Colorado and then again to Arizona, I certainly had a few adjustments to make, but overall, culturally it wasn't a huge shock. 

And then I moved to Texas.  Texas is like a whole new country.  And every day, I learn something new about being a resident of this great state.  I wanted to share with you some of the things I've learned, adjusted to, and been really bad at since becoming a Texan.

1. Texas is not in the South.  I'm serious.  You do not say you're from the South, you dare not speak that you live in the South.  You live in Texas.  And Texas is its own region.
2. Everyone owns a gun.  This one is weird.  I'm not antigun I'm more on the team that likes more regulations but I'm really open to carrying guns.  But Texas is next level.  I'm not sure I'm ever going to get used to the fact that basically everyone from age 2 on is packing heat any given time. 
3. Texas Hospitality (DONT say Southern) is real.  People are nice in general.  I dig this.  I'm all about smiling at strangers and saying hello.  It's the real deal, people don't act like you're invisible.  Nobody thinks you're a leper if you greet people you don't even know.  It's so not California and I like it.
4. Cowboy boots are functional.  Did you guys know that cowboy boots serve an actual purpose?  People work on ranches and wear them to do work.  I'm not ready to use my cowboy boots for such things, but its good to know they're not just really cute with denim cutoffs.
5. Red Meat is a Food Group.  There's cuts of meat I'd never even heard of until I came to Texas.  Red meat is an option for every meal.  I think they consider it a food group here.  And I love that.  Goodbye healthy living, hello palate of happiness.
6. Texas loves Texas.  This is one proud state.  Texans are proud of their home and not afraid to tell you how amazing it is.  As a Californian, I relate to state pride so I think its cool to hear.  I still think California is far better, but I see why so many people call this place home and mean it.
7. Texas is Affordable.  Being from California, there's not many places that give me sticker shock.  But I'm over here wondering if this is real life for the opposite reason.  Gas is $2. I go through the grocery store for like $50.  I live in a palace for the price of a shanty in LA. I get why its less expensive, but I'm all about this opportunity to save more.

Texas Ya'll.  It's been a culture shock but I am loving living here and learning what its all about.  Stay tuned as my adventure continues...

Judgemental Behavior

People spend a lot of time judging. I'm not talking about the once in awhile comments everyone makes while people watching, I'm talking those people who have to have an opinion on everything, and usually its a mean one.  Everybody knows that one friend or co worker that has to comment on everything from what you're wearing to what you eat for lunch, to your love life.  Girls are notorious for this mentality.  And I'm over it. 

What does what someone is wearing, who they're dating, what they do for a living, or what they weigh have to do with you?  Explain to me how it greatly impacts your life?  I'll tell you how, it makes you negative; and negativity breeds negativity.  You don't know what is going on in that person's life that makes them who they are.  Making quick, irrelevant judgments of another person is negative, insecure, and boring.

With the prevalence of social media and celebrity presence everywhere, its extremely hard not to partake in a culture of comparison.  We are surrounded by people telling us how to look, what to wear, that money defines our worth, and that we have to conform to be relevant.  I get how we become judgmental with what's in front of us every second of the day.  I'm certainly guilty of being judgmental myself.  But its about accountability.  Recognize when you're being judgmental, stop the behavior, and re-focus your thoughts to a more positive place. 

In recent years I've challenged myself to tell people the kind things in my head.  If I see a girl walking down the street and I like her shoes, I tell her.  If I appreciate something positive someone says on Facebook, I'll compliment their attitude.  And from making a habit of saying these kind things out loud, I've become a less judgmental person.  I tend to notice the really unique things about people that make them great.  My brain has shifted from noticing society imposed faults to seeing positive attributes.  I don't feel the need to compare, I've gotten to this annoyingly positive place where I really am rooting for everyone.  Certainly I have my off moments (I know, you thought I was perfect...) but I can proudly say the majority of the time - I'm rooting for us all.

I think the easiest way to combat this need to judge is to get comfortable with yourself.  Admit your faults, celebrate your strengths, and get really healthy abut how you talk to yourself.  Often times the judgmental behavior we have towards others is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves.  When you're able to embrace your total package, you're more likely to accept the differences of others and see them as unique quirks rather than less than desirable habits.

My challenge to you, especially during a time when the leader of our country openly judges people for their race, class, and even mental impairments - try saying something positive about someone, or even to them. Even better, start with doing that to yourself.  And the next time you feel like bashing someone for their shoes/clothes/hair/lifestyle choices; why don't you re-group, re-evaluate your thinking; and say something positive,.  Mom was right, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.