#NoFilter

I don't have a filter.  I say a lot of things that most people think, but don't say.  Sure, I've got boundaries.  I generally don't say anything mean spirited and I try not to offend anyone.  But in general, if I think it - I'm probably going to say it.

Often times this gets me intro trouble.  I can say something that's misunderstood.  I say things that make me look stupid.  I take jokes just a little over the line. 

But I'm also really good at humor.  I've got great comedic timing.  I'm also real.  Authentic.  And ultimately you know where I stand.  I make a point to tell you the good with the bad.

And because I lack a filter, I've been told my whole life I'm too much.  That I should tone it down, even change who I am.  For a really long time, I even allowed myself to agree with those people.  I wondered why I couldn't just be quiet and blend in.  I wished I could be one of those sweet and nice girls who doesn't say much and never causes controversy.  I think I even spent a whole 24 hours being that person.  At the end of the day, that's not me.  I was miserable.

I'm a lot.  I'm loud.  I'm opinionated.  And I think my filter is in a gutter in Las Vegas along with my dignity from 2010.  I'm an acquired taste.  For some, I'm not their type at all.  I don't think I'm one of those people you say "yea, she's cool, whatever."  You either love me or you think I'm the worst.

The cool thing about being 30 and not having a filter?  I've figured out who I am. And I'm accepting of who that is.  I realize people may not like who that is.  And that isn't my problem.  I'm a good person (with great hair) who likes to laugh and likes to push boundaries.  I do it with sparkle, sass, and mostly with class.

I don't have a filter.  But honestly, in 2017, we could all do with one less filter in the world.  And because I care, I'll be that girl for us.

The Great State of Texas

I'm a born and raised California girl.  Sure, I did a stint in both Colorado and Arizona, but I am all things California.  When I moved to Colorado and then again to Arizona, I certainly had a few adjustments to make, but overall, culturally it wasn't a huge shock. 

And then I moved to Texas.  Texas is like a whole new country.  And every day, I learn something new about being a resident of this great state.  I wanted to share with you some of the things I've learned, adjusted to, and been really bad at since becoming a Texan.

1. Texas is not in the South.  I'm serious.  You do not say you're from the South, you dare not speak that you live in the South.  You live in Texas.  And Texas is its own region.
2. Everyone owns a gun.  This one is weird.  I'm not antigun I'm more on the team that likes more regulations but I'm really open to carrying guns.  But Texas is next level.  I'm not sure I'm ever going to get used to the fact that basically everyone from age 2 on is packing heat any given time. 
3. Texas Hospitality (DONT say Southern) is real.  People are nice in general.  I dig this.  I'm all about smiling at strangers and saying hello.  It's the real deal, people don't act like you're invisible.  Nobody thinks you're a leper if you greet people you don't even know.  It's so not California and I like it.
4. Cowboy boots are functional.  Did you guys know that cowboy boots serve an actual purpose?  People work on ranches and wear them to do work.  I'm not ready to use my cowboy boots for such things, but its good to know they're not just really cute with denim cutoffs.
5. Red Meat is a Food Group.  There's cuts of meat I'd never even heard of until I came to Texas.  Red meat is an option for every meal.  I think they consider it a food group here.  And I love that.  Goodbye healthy living, hello palate of happiness.
6. Texas loves Texas.  This is one proud state.  Texans are proud of their home and not afraid to tell you how amazing it is.  As a Californian, I relate to state pride so I think its cool to hear.  I still think California is far better, but I see why so many people call this place home and mean it.
7. Texas is Affordable.  Being from California, there's not many places that give me sticker shock.  But I'm over here wondering if this is real life for the opposite reason.  Gas is $2. I go through the grocery store for like $50.  I live in a palace for the price of a shanty in LA. I get why its less expensive, but I'm all about this opportunity to save more.

Texas Ya'll.  It's been a culture shock but I am loving living here and learning what its all about.  Stay tuned as my adventure continues...

Judgemental Behavior

People spend a lot of time judging. I'm not talking about the once in awhile comments everyone makes while people watching, I'm talking those people who have to have an opinion on everything, and usually its a mean one.  Everybody knows that one friend or co worker that has to comment on everything from what you're wearing to what you eat for lunch, to your love life.  Girls are notorious for this mentality.  And I'm over it. 

What does what someone is wearing, who they're dating, what they do for a living, or what they weigh have to do with you?  Explain to me how it greatly impacts your life?  I'll tell you how, it makes you negative; and negativity breeds negativity.  You don't know what is going on in that person's life that makes them who they are.  Making quick, irrelevant judgments of another person is negative, insecure, and boring.

With the prevalence of social media and celebrity presence everywhere, its extremely hard not to partake in a culture of comparison.  We are surrounded by people telling us how to look, what to wear, that money defines our worth, and that we have to conform to be relevant.  I get how we become judgmental with what's in front of us every second of the day.  I'm certainly guilty of being judgmental myself.  But its about accountability.  Recognize when you're being judgmental, stop the behavior, and re-focus your thoughts to a more positive place. 

In recent years I've challenged myself to tell people the kind things in my head.  If I see a girl walking down the street and I like her shoes, I tell her.  If I appreciate something positive someone says on Facebook, I'll compliment their attitude.  And from making a habit of saying these kind things out loud, I've become a less judgmental person.  I tend to notice the really unique things about people that make them great.  My brain has shifted from noticing society imposed faults to seeing positive attributes.  I don't feel the need to compare, I've gotten to this annoyingly positive place where I really am rooting for everyone.  Certainly I have my off moments (I know, you thought I was perfect...) but I can proudly say the majority of the time - I'm rooting for us all.

I think the easiest way to combat this need to judge is to get comfortable with yourself.  Admit your faults, celebrate your strengths, and get really healthy abut how you talk to yourself.  Often times the judgmental behavior we have towards others is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves.  When you're able to embrace your total package, you're more likely to accept the differences of others and see them as unique quirks rather than less than desirable habits.

My challenge to you, especially during a time when the leader of our country openly judges people for their race, class, and even mental impairments - try saying something positive about someone, or even to them. Even better, start with doing that to yourself.  And the next time you feel like bashing someone for their shoes/clothes/hair/lifestyle choices; why don't you re-group, re-evaluate your thinking; and say something positive,.  Mom was right, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

Being a Woman.

Being born a woman is a disability.  From the minute we are brought into the world, we are told how to act and who to be.  We are told to be feminine but not high maintenance.  We are expected to succeed at work but not let that take away from being a mom.  We are shown that our bodies are only beautiful if we mold them a certain way and how to do our makeup so we hide any flaws. 

Being a woman is navigating a maze.  It's being nice but not too nice so that we aren't a tease.  It's having opinions but not too many because we wouldn't want to be seen as bossy.  Being a woman is worrying about being called a slut but being a porn star for our men at home.  It's being fit but not manly and muscular.

Life as a woman is existing in a place where life is a competition between other women.  We are taught to compete with other women, to compare ourselves to them and value ourselves based upon how we measure up.  We talk behind each other's backs and we sabotage each other in work and in relationships. 

I'm a woman.  And I don't want to be what it means to be a woman as I was brought into this world to believe.  I want to love myself for the loud, sassy, sparkly person that I am.  I need to feel value and success at work and have a partner to create a team at home.  I refuse to compete with other women and I vow to uplift my fellow boss babes in work and in life.  I choose to think I am beautiful, flaws and all.  And I am strong because of my muscles and scars.  I will not let anyone dictate my sex life but me.  I will never feel shame for whatever that life is for me.  Above all - I will dedicate my life to equality - amongst men and women.  And I will value people based on how great they are as a human being.  I will not be defined by gender roles and if I'm lucky enough one day to raise children, I will take the responsibility of raising them to believe in equality very seriously. 

Being a woman today is hard.  But it's also an opportunity. An opportunity to change the way we exist in the world.  Talk to the women around you - get to know what being a woman means to them.  And even if the way they live is not for you - tell them you're proud they're living life as they feel most authentic as a woman.  Because truly, being a woman is really kind of awesome.

How to be Single

I recently watched the movie How to Be Single.  Yet another something cool that I'm about 10 years late discovering.  It got me thinking - in a world that trains us to constantly keep looking for the one, how do you do single?" 

I've probably gotten too comfortable being single.  I've gone from being the girl who was always in a relationship to the girl who hasn't had a serious relationship in a long time.  But for me, being single has taught me to love myself, rely on myself, and never settle in love or in life.  Taking the time to be single has made me whole on my own and ready to partner with someone who is whole on their own too.

So how do you successfully do single?  How do you be you in this world surrounded by apps and websites and constant questions about who you're dating? 

Stop Looking

You are not who you date or even who you marry.  And being in a relationship should not make you whole.  Stop searching for someone when you could be spending time searching for yourself.  When you're constantly looking for someone to complete you, you become broken.  And you force relationships, you settle.  Take time to really look at who you are and what you want in a relationship and in life.  Explore your strengths as a partner and your weaknesses.  Know what you need in a partner and what you bring to the table.  Stop looking for someone to complete you and complete your damn self.

Stop Waiting

You don't need a significant other to get out there and live life.  Travel.  Go to the movies.  Eat at the new restaurant.  Run a marathon.  Don't ever wait for life to happen, make it happen.  Whatever you've always wanted to do with "someone special", BE THAT SOMEONE.  The more I've gone out in the world and lived life on my own, the more powerful I have learned to feel.  I don't wait for a man to find me, I'm too busy finding myself.

Stop Pretending

There are so many magazines, TV shows and opinions around us that show us who we should be.  Certainly we are all guilty of hiding parts of who we really are to fit some of what society tells us is best.  But that's exhausting and its not sustainable.  And its not how we find our person.  It's impossible to have a successful relationship - to sustain the real deal if you're not acting like the real deal.  So stop pretending to be anyone but who you are when you're happiest. 

Stop Qualifying

When people ask you if you're dating anyone and you say no, don't explain.  When someone tells you "don't worry, you'll met someone" smile and move on.  Don't explain being single to anyone.  Don't qualify why you're single.  It's irrelevant, it's silly, and it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the person asking.  You don't owe an explanation to anyone.  Anyone who asks you about who you're dating right off t he bat - instead of how you're doing, how your career is, how your travels have gone - they're probably not someone who understands you're journey anyways.  It's not up to you to explain anything to anyone but yourself.

Stop Comparing

You are uniquely you, and that is your super power.  Stop comparing your body, mind, life, all of it - to anyone else.  At the end of the day, it doesn't mean anything if someone has more money than you, is more attractive, whatever the case may be - it's not a factor on you.  These things are out of your control and they're meaningless without your power.  Don't give them power.  Celebrate the qualities that make you who you are and celebrate the qualities that make others who they are.  Stop comparing and start seeing people for the individuals they are. 

Start Loving You

Be in love with yourself.  Accept yourself.  Get in touch with where you need to grow.  Celebrate the areas you're strongest.  Be really really into yourself and who that is.  Stop brushing off compliments and stop putting yourself down.  Start saying thank you and exuding confidence.  If you don't love yourself, you can't have a successful relationship with anyone else.  Romantic, friends, family, all relationships suffer and break when you are broken.  You don't need to be perfect, but you need to love yourself for all that you are.

Start Surrounding Yourself with Powerful People

I've got a fiercely supportive home team.  They know I'm loud, sassy, and impulsive.  But they appreciate me for all that I am.  And they empower me to be me.  Get you a squad that encourages you but also calls you on your crap.  Make sure that you've got a diverse crew so that you are forced to think about life from different viewpoints.  Talk to your people.  Have real discussions, listen to what people have to say.  And don't let negative people into your bubble.  You are who you surround yourself with.  Quality over quantity every single day.

Start Keeping it Real

Never settle.  Never be afraid to speak up if something doesn't feel right.  In relationships of all kind, at work, everywhere.  Don't be afraid to say this makes me feel bad and I'm going to walk away.  I've been accused many times of being opinionated and brash - and that's probably true, but I think that's because people aren't used to someone standing up for themselves.  Instead of seeing it as an empowered person asking for what they deserve, it's often seen as bitchy or forceful.  Get over it.  It's hard to ask for what you want but its a hell of a lot harder to live a life you've settled for.

Lastly, start embracing single.  It's not a punishment, it's not some scarlet letter.  It's a phase in life that's really freaking awesome if you do it right.  Your relationship status doesn't define you.  And if you let it, that's a really sad way to miss out on your life.  Embrace relationships too if they're healthy.  The whole point - don't let any of the relationship status labels define you.  Define who you are on your own.  And celebrate the hell out of whoever you decide that is.

Valentine's Day

Traditionally, Valentine's Day is amazing for people in relationships and National Singles Awareness Day to others.  Whether I'm dating someone or not - I LOVE VALENTINES DAY!

Certainly it's a Hallmark holiday.  And in reality its not to be taken very seriously.  But a day dedicated to love, shiny things and chocolate is a day I'm happy to celebrate!  I also highly value February 15th when all candy is 50% off. 

Whatever your relationship status - I'd like to change your perspective on the day of love and challenge you to think about it in a new way.  It should be fun and it should be exactly what it stands for - a day to celebrate love.

 I want you to think of valentine's day as a day to celebrate all relationships.  Romantic, family, friends, anyone you value in your life (I highly value the guy who delivers my Amazon Prime shipments, he gets a valentine!).  And I want you to include your relationship with yourself in that day.  Choose to celebrate love for all of those people. 

Now Valentine's Day is after all at its most basic - a Hallmark Holiday meant to encourage spending.  Instead of elaborate gifts, choose to create gifts from the heart.  Think back to when you were a kid and the fun cards you gave to everyone and little conversational hearts you handed out to classmates.  Make Valentine's Day about true care again.  Write a card, handout the old school candy hearts,  frame your favorite photo, cook for your special people.  Whatever you do - don't make it about stuff.  Make it about the heart.

So no matter what your romantic situation - don't let that define what a day of love means to you.  It's absolutely ridiculous to let a day define your value to yourself and others.  If all else fails - be your own Valentine.  Treat your damn self if you should so choose.  Just remember to be thankful for the love in your life, because that's what every day should be about.  Not the things, the love and the people who light up your world. 

And if you are in a romantic relationship - don't let the day become about gifts and grand gestures.  Celebrate each other and the life you're building together.

At the end of the day - Valentine's Day is pretty freaking awesome.  A little extra love and cheesy positivity never hurt nobody!

Send Nudes.

In 2016 - dating is really hard.  It's swiping right or left, strategic games, and endless requests for nudes. 

I'm a modern woman.  I'm confident, independent, and I don't believe in traditional gender roles.  I do however have some really old school views when it comes to dating. 

Let's be really up front - I'm not innocent.  In no way do my opinions reflect any judgement on those who date differently.  But as I've gotten older - and more or less wiser - the way I engage in dating has changed.

I don't particularly care for online dating, apps, or any scientifically proven algorithms that will introduce me to "Mr. Right."  I have friends who have had incredible success from them, but I still carry a stigma with me that the universe doesn't want me to meet my lobster on Tinder (Bumble is classier anyways you guys...).  Sure, have I been bored and checked them out?  Absolutely.  And boy do those conversations make for some incredible laughter.  But that's all I've gotten from those interactions - laughter. 

Dating apps represent a generation of "there's always something better out there."  They stand for the ability to seek the next best thing rather than work on what's in front of you.  And that's not something I believe in.  I believe in authentic courtship.  A meet cute if you will, followed by getting to know each other and deciding to commit to each other in a relationship.  I'm not interested in dating 10 different men at once, I don't believe comparison is the best way to see what works for me.  Certainly that's an antiquated viewpoint - but its something I wholeheartedly feel I need to have a successful romantic relationship.

I'd like to take nudes off the table.  I'd like to ask that you take the time to date only me if you've got a genuine interest in our connection.  I require that if we commit to a relationship and encounter some rocky roads, you don't jump back into the dating game immediately, you take the time to work on our issues in a healthy way.  And if we can't make them work, we decide in a grown up discussion, to part ways. 

Of course I don't blame technology and I don't blame solely men for this cultural shift in dating.  It's happening throughout generations today and its the fault of both men and women equally.  It's the responsibility of the individual to make a decision on how they wish to engage in relationships and settle for nothing less.  If online dating and playing the field works for you, enjoy it.  If you're a bit more traditional, don't settle in your standards because its harder to find a partner that feels the same.  Relationships are incredibly personal, make sure you're not "doing romance" on anyone's terms but your own.  The only person you're accountable to is yourself and your partner.  And quite frankly, YOU are the number one priority in that equation.  Without a strong healthy relationship with yourself, you can't possibly find success in a teammate.

I'm single.  I used to be the girl who was always dating someone.  But then I took time for myself to work on my career and myself.  And now I finally believe I'm in a place to have a successful grown up healthy partnership.  While I don't necessarily want to go the swipe right route, I believe that my lobster is out there.  But I'm not in a hurry to find him. 

I don't want to send you any nudes.  I don't want to play games and try to figure out when to text/call/send smoke signals.  I'm not interested in worrying about when I'm supposed to get married.  I certainly don't want to force anything and I won't ever compromise in what works for me.  I'm not in it for the next best thing, I'm in it for forever.  So when I say I'm in no rush, I mean I'm not willing to risk a mistake.  I'll wait for the real deal - and then I'll send all the nudes, forever and ever amen.

The Next Adventure: An Update

Hello Friends.  Well, I've been in Texas exactly one month!  I thought it was a nice time to give you a little update on my new adventure.

I would like to assure you in advance that I do not yet have a Southern twang - in fact - I talk so fast everyone thinks I'm from New York.  And I am not living my life in cowboy boots herding cattle as I thought was a requirement for Texas life.  And it turns out there are not large bugs just taking over the world as I also assumed.

Going back to work has been weird.  This whole waking up and going to an office everyday is a lot after 6 months of waking up, enjoying a luxurious breakfast and then doing whatever I wanted for the rest of the day.  Fear not though - I've made it to work with only getting lost 1-8 times each week and my new office only requires that I wear pants (they can even be jeans!) which is huge. 

Everyone is really nice.  Having spent a lot of time in judgmental cities (shout out to you Los Angeles) - it's amazing to be in a city that is as annoyingly friendly as I am.  People open doors, they smile, they say hello - they offer to help you when you're lost and confused (#AllDayERRYDAY) - and they actually care when they ask how you're doing.  It's weird AF and I dig that.  I have recently been informed that when I say ya'll I sound like I'm a member of a hip hop group - I do not know what that means but I think it gives me street cred.  #ThugLife

The new gig is great.  Obviously I'm only a month in and given my history the past two jobs - I'm suspicious of everyone and everything - but I feel valued, cared about, and like I'm amongst friends.  The work is challenging, nobody laughs at my insane ideas, and I'm not dealing with a micromanager (which is the fastest way to get me to quit).  I'm truly excited to go to work each day and I hope that lasts.  The travel has been a lot.  Exciting and exhausting but I love that I am never bored.

Socially - I've made friends - which surprises nobody (I'm the girl who walks up to strangers and joins their group).  I had some friends already before I moved and its been great having an insider or two to show me where the fun happens and where to buy glitter.  And yes everyone - the Southern Gentlemen are alive and well and they're beautiful.  I love them all I simply cannot choose.  Will let you know how that goes but I'd like to let them all woo me for now. 

Lastly, the puppy is doing really well!  He's obviously my main man and I was worried about him adjusting.  He loves our new apartment and assumes its his to run already.  He's made new friends and doesn't mind the humidity as its great for his skin. 

All in all - I think I'm really going to like this place.  I seem to be really good at Dallas.  I appreciate everyone's support and hope you will all visit soon!  More to come...

#SparkleOn

Airporting.

One of my favorite sports in life is a little game I like to call "Airporting."  What is airporting you ask?  It's the art of travel.  It's the entire process of getting to the airport, checking in, getting through security, finding a place to get beverages and/or food, all up to the point that you get on the plane and the door shuts.  Airporting.  Make sense?  Of course it does, you just didn't know there was a name for this extreme sport.

Let's break down this exhilarating sport from the perspective of a Los Angelino. Because LAX is the worst place to do Airporting at. 

Getting to the Airport

In Los Angeles, you don't ask friends for a ride to LAX.  It's not an airport that's a drivable distance to well, anywhere.  One does not simply text a friend and ask to be dropped off at LAX.  Getting to the airport is one of the most treacherous experiences in Los Angeles.  I lived 11 miles to LAX.  Even if there was "no traffic" (not a thing in LA), it took 35 minutes minimum to get to my destination.  Now you can easily find inexpensive parking (again, in LA this means something different than say in Iowa) but it's preferable to be dropped off.  So you're left with Uber or a car service.  Super Shuttle (as so many other Americans use) is not an option in Los Angeles.  There's no group shuttle that takes less than a few hours to get you to your destination.  Uber is expensive during any prime time of day.  Once it cost me $75 to go to LAX.  11 miles, $75.  What kind of criminal rate is that?  So realistically, you've got to look into a car service.  If you're sneaky like I am, you research the least expensive (yet reliable, thanks Yelp!) service and then you google coupon codes.  One time I got a round trip LAX car service for a total of $35 (incl. tip!).  It was some magical Narnia service I found and I never found that deal again.  And so thus, the vicious cycle of getting to the airport would continue.

Checking in for your flight

I realize a lot of people don't check bags.  They do carry on and they have their boarding pass on their phone.  They skip this whole ticket counter thing entirely and go straight to security.  And certainly that's the smart way to airport.  But then where are you packing your shoes?  Where are your many outfit options?  What pocket do you keep your magnum of bubbles in?  I will never be a carry on player, it's just not the right fit for my lifestyle.  So I tackle the check in counter.  First, its dealing with the line, do you have your boarding pass and can get in the shorter line?  Do you need full service and have to stand in the line that stretches up to the valley?  After 3 months when you finally get to the counter - it's communicating with the ticket agent in a way they can understand and also sucking up to ensure whatever impossible thing you're going to ask for gets fulfilled.  And then of course you take the 30 seconds to pray to the baggage Gods that your bag is under 50lbs and you don't owe the $100 excessive baggage fee.  When they finally clear you after sweating your face off for 15 seconds while the bag is on the scale, you give one last shoutout to Jesus to ensure your bags make it to your destination.  Boarding pass and ID in hand, take a deep breathe and head to security.

Clearing Security

Los Angeles is probably the most diverse city in the world.  And thus its never a normal day at LAX security.  I've seen someone attempt to run through the line and be tackled by police officers, I've seen drugs confiscated, fights break out, and one time I saw a girl wearing so little clothing airport security actually told her she wasn't allowed to fly in her current attire.  So when you approach that security line, you need to be mentally ready for anything.  You can't get distracted by the antics before you.  You've got to stay laser focused to avoid getting cut in line and to maximize line breaks to get in the shortest lane for body scanning.  Remember to smile, to be ready to remove your shoes, and know the exact number of bins you need for your items.  Scan the people in front of you, do not get in line behind Sue Bob from Arkansas who hasn't ever flown in her life.  She will ask 300 questions, she will take 6 days to get through the scanner and you will miss your flight.  Also make sure you've gone through your purse, bag, pockets, everything so that you're not accidentally packing liquids and or weapons.  I had a very unpleasant body search situation in Oklahoma once due to a wine opener.  Smile, be efficient, make eye contact with TSA, and say thank you.  This keeps things short, sweet, and off of a watch list. 

The Well Deserved Beverage

You made it through security!  You deserve 12 drinks.  Well if you're flying Southwest at LAX, you now have to play what I like to call "I need alcohol and I need it now."  There is one, YES ONE, place to get alcohol in this terminal.  And of course when you arrive, all of the chairs are taken at the actual bar and if you're not eating they won't allow you a table (not that there are any tables because Sue bob and her family reunion of 27 are sitting at them all).  What do you do?  If you're female, you put on some lip gloss, make eye contact with the first guy who looks up and you beeline for his location.  When he smiles you return his gesture and comment on how crowded it is.  When he offers to give up his seat for you, politely but not firmly decline.  When he insists you take that seat and thank him profusely.  And then you talk about your boyfriend.  And then he leaves and you have all the alcohols.  Is it a dirty play?  It might be.  But it's the championship game and you came to win.  Drink up because in 20 minutes you have to brave the jungle and board your plane.

Boarding

You won the beverage game and are sufficiently relaxed enough to brave the boarding area.  The last stop before you get on your merry way is the most brutal quarter of the whole game.  Remember, we are on Southwest where seating is open and carry on standards are nonexistent.  First, you must find a seat in the general boarding area.  After careful surveillance, dirty looks from people unnecessarily placing their bags on the seat next to them, and the sullen looking teenager with headphones on with their feet up on the only empty seat - you determine its necessary to approach someone and ask them to move their bag.  Begrudgingly Samantha removes her Hermes bag as if its physically hurting her to do so and you've got a seat.  You settle in for 10 minutes and 57 people have already linedup to board.  6 days later when the attendant announces its time to board, you make your way to your place in line as other people try to slyly view your pass and ensure you aren't cutting.  Finally, you're on the plane and you've got to choose your seat for the net 1-4 hours.  You were lucky and nabbed an aisle seat near the front and now have to play the don't make eye contact and pretend I have West Nile so that nobody attempts to sit with me game.  15 minutes, getting hit in the face 12 times by baggage, and praying to all God's you've ever heard of and boarding has concluded.  You are now free to engage headphones, disengage interest, and order your free wine.  Congratulations ladies and gentlemen, you have won airporting.  Cheers to you and good luck doing it all over again in 2-3 days.

Ball is Life

I've spent the majority of my career in sports.  Granted, I'm only 31 so that's not necessarily saying I'm some 30 year veteran of the business - but I do have a strong idea of what this world is like.   Of course, every organization, every University, and every agency are very different.  I dare only speak to my personal experiences as I know they're vastly different from those of my peers.

Whenever I tell people I work in sports, there's this immediate "how cool" "what a dream" reaction.  It's often assumed that I make a lot of money, I'm at all the coolest events sitting courtside at every game.  People immediately ask which players I've dated and which ones I party with.  The world of sports is seen as a 24/7 party.  It's all glitz and glamour and the good life.

The truth?  It can be.  But it's not big salaries, I'm not sitting on the sidelines at every game, I certainly would never date an athlete I work with and I will leave a bar I see them walk into.  It's long hours, hands on labor, little appreciation, cutthroat often sexist environments, and it's one of the hardest industries to break into and excel in.  And yet, it's also exciting, and its challenging and it's a playground for creativity and passion.  I've cursed it, sworn I'd get out, and yet I still can't completely leave it.

To make it in this world you have to be willing to start at the bottom and I'm talking the very bottom.  You have to be willing to do manual labor, work 16-20 hours straight and do all of this for minimum wage or even school credit.  You have to work really hard, without complaint, and you have to be open to feedback.  Have patience.  Realize you aren't making six figures for a really long time, if ever.  And you're not in a world where someone is going to tell you how much you're appreciated.  It's a world where the staff is replaceable.  So you've got to think strategically.  You've got to constantly build relationships, learn from everyone you can, and trust very few. 

But as cut throat as this world is, I've met some of my best friends in this world.  I've grown personally and professionally in this world and I'm not sure I'd have done so had I not been in sports.  I've sat courtside and on the sidelines at some momentous games.  I've worked side by side with some of the greatest athletes and coaches in the game.  I've drank $1,500 wine and eaten a $10,000 dinner.  I've flown on the team plane.  I've gotten to pursue my dreams and been given incredible responsibility.  And that's why I can't give this world up. 

In my new role, I'm not 100%  centered on sports.  I'm sports and product marketing and music and everything in between.  And that's scary.  But it's also exciting.  It's a whole new ball game if you will - and I'm the rookie in this world.  But I think at the end of the day, that only makes me a stronger competitor when (or if) I choose to go back to sports full time.  It's an opportunity to have something I've only heard about: a work life balance (I'm unclear on the details of this).  And it's a position I'm a little uncomfortable going into, which makes it a position I should absolutely take. 

The world of sports is glamourous.  But it's also really ugly.  And really cut throat.  Half the time, I didn't know who we were playing or even the name of every player.  You're not a fan when you're in that world.  You're in a business.  And you're an employee in a world expected to increase profit for that business.  Certainly, be passionate, don't ever lose your love for the game, but be warned - it's like taking the mask of Mickey - you see the world in a whole new light.  And sometimes it's princess castles and light shows, and sometimes it's tantrums and back stabbing.  Quite frankly, you're either made for the sports world, or your not. 

Personally, I live for this life.  If I didn't, I wouldn't still be so scared to walk away.  We joke that ball is life in this world.  But I'm not sure its really a joke.