Socially Active

Between Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, snapchat, and about 1,000 other social media venues, people are more connected than they've ever been before.  And at the same time, they're less connected than they'll ever be.  Kids are being raised to be more social media savy than I will ever be and yet they're more socially awkward than one thought possible.  While I'm all for technology and the connections social media can create, I miss phone calls, handwritten cards, face to face interactions, and times when it wasn't possible to get ahold of someone.  We are creating intelligent and advanced individuals - who can't even carry on a conversation with another human being without getting uncomfortable or holding an iPhone in their hand.  

I'm just as guilty of being too tech reliant as the next person, I've had a cell phone since I was 10 and currently own a laptop that turns into a tablet as well as an ipad.  But I've also been taught the power of being able to sit down and connect with someone face to face.  I've been taught to smile at strangers, say hello to people I make eye contact with, and to take a real interest in what people are saying to me, without my cell phone at my fingertips. And you know what people think about that?  They think I'm weird.  I get told it's odd how "friendly" I am.  And that really puts things in perspective in my eyes.  We've gotten to a place where it's ok to send nudes, but you can't wave at someone you walk by on the streets?  Should I tweet my twat out instead of having a conversation with my friend about life?  Is that more customary?  Because it's sure as hell more common.  

I've worked with kids a lot in my career, kids ages 18-23.  It constantly surprises me to work with these students (not all are this way of course) who can literally do anything on the computer, cell phone, iPad, you name it, but when I ask them to make a phone call or interact with a client, they're at a loss for words. They're straight A students, part of this club or President of that society, but they absolutely struggle when it comes to being able to sit down, relate to and spark up a conversation with a stranger.  And that scares me.   It scares me to be looking towards a future where everyone relies on technology instead of face to face interactions.  Do you know how many misunderstandings happen a day over social media?  And about 99% of those would never happen if people just talked to each other.  

I love my Iphone, my iPad, my laptop, and my social media circles, but my point is, I value my skills with conversation more.  I value talking to my Mom every morning before work, and the post cards my Grandma sends me to check in.  I love the Sundays I spend sitting on my ass watching football with my friends and yelling at the tv.  And I live for the family BBQ's spent playing dominos and laughing with each other.  I hope that one day when I have kids, I'm able to teach them to be both tech savy and people savy.  I want them to be able to have the confidence to speak to anyone they may meet without being incredibly awkward and yet still know how to enjoy whatever social media may be the latest when they're out there in the world.  I want there to be requirements for jobs where people have to be socially intelligent as well as social media savy.  I want to exist in a place where folks take the time to say hello and SMILE instead of looking at their phones all the time.  And I want that to be the norm.  See it as a challenge, get out there, and be a better person, be someone who is weird for being friendly.  And enjoy the stories of strangers.  They're better and more real than anything you'll ever read on the internet.  Most importantly, take the time to get to know the most important people in your life, because while you're texting, tweeting, and FB messaging them, you're missing out on time you could be spending WITH them.  And in the end, it's not about how make likes you got, who thinks you look hot on Instagram, or who is following you on Twitter, when you're at the very end of it all, it's those people who will be by your side.

The Perfect Man

I told you some qualities that I look for to tell me "He's not the one."  Recently I was asked what kinds of qualities I look for in the "Perfect Man."  This obviously means men are just lining up waiting to know if they fit my ideal BAE.  Well gentlemen - its your lucky day because I'm going to give you some of the things that pique my interest. 

• Let's just get the shallowness out of the way first: Tall, Athletic, Tall.  But is he tall?
• Educated: this doesn't have to mean a college degree.  But he needs to be intelligent, aware of the world around him, and can have a real conversation
• Family man: Not awkwardly close, like maybe don't be living in your mom's basement, but has a healthy and strong bond with his family
• Has a job: And not as a promoter, bartender, "model," bar manager - basically please have an actual job and career aspirations.  You don't need to be CEO but you do need to be working hard in a career you're passionate about and looking towards your future.
• Laugh.  Be funny, make me laugh.  And in general, value humor. Dry, sarcastic humor - bonus points.
• Be well traveled.  And not because you've been to spring break in Cancun.  Travel for culture, for experience, to know you're a small piece of an incredibly large world.
• Manners.  I'm old school.  I was raised around men who open doors, wont let me walk on the side of the street closest to traffic, and who genuinely believe in respecting women and other people.  If you treat strangers with disrespect, your mom with disrespect - I don't respect you.
• Sports.  I love sports.  I know what I'm talking about when it comes to sports.  You should love sports too and respect that I can hold a conversation with you about sports.  I was a D1 athlete - so its not cute that I know a few things, its knowledge.
• Keep me in check.  I'm a pistol.  I'm sassy.  I'm a lot.  The right man understands that, values my independent nature - but also calls me out when I've gone too far. 
• Have hobbies: I read a lot.  I like to cook.  I love being outdoors and going on adventures. I love watching college football.  I'm crafty.  I like puppies more than people. My dreamboat has hobbies outside of drinking and playing video games.  Bonus round?  If you can cook.  Because I can eat.  A lot.
• Open minded: Have strong opinions that are researched and real.  But don't ever stop listening, learning, and having compassion.  The world is evolving, you should be open to whatever comes next. 
• Be a grown up: No games. Real grown men don't play games.  They know a good woman when they meet one and they won't risk losing her to play games.  You will always lose the game with me because I'll walk away.
• Team: Be ready to be part of a team.  I'm rooting for you, you're rooting for me.  We are in this thing as a TEAM.

Gentlemen - send in your applications.  And be aware I reserve the right to add, subtract or edit these terms and conditions.  Next - we will choose our top three candidates and vote on who I should date.  This will be moderated by the great Greg Esposito.  with his background in professional sports - as well as his ability to pick himself a wonderful woman - he is the chosen one for this task.

If you think I'm kidding - I dare you to test me.  PLAY BALL!

...If we get zero candidates, Ill still eventually make this voting on my next boyfriend thing happen because it sounds incredibly funny and I promised Espo I would.

A Plan for the Plan

I am Type A.  I am a control freak.  I'll make a list with an item on it that includes a plan to make another list.  I don't just have a plan B, I've got a plan A-Z prepared with addendums for each.  This is all wonderful for my career as an event planner but in life, its the biggest burden.

Since I can remember I've had a plan for my life.  I was going to go to a D1 school, run track, graduate in 4 years, attend law school, be married at 22, kids by 25.  I was going to be a sports agent.  Married to an athlete.  The problem with life is that it rarely follows your plan.  And I'm so very thankful for that.   

I did go to college, I ran D1 track and I graduated in four.  But that was the only part of the plan I checked off.  In between those four years I endured injuries and illnesses that kept me from competing, let alone at a level that contributed to my team's successes (Shoutout to my Aggies!).  I experienced violence, loss, silent struggles - and they changed who I am.  I began to see how little I could actually plan for.  Life showed me the only thing I can plan for is how to adapt.  So I graduated - and I learned something - I'm a lot different than I was when I made that plan.  I didn't want to go to law school, didn't want to be a sports agent.  I was nowhere near wanting to be married or thinking about kids.  I was 21 and I wanted to make a new plan.  And since then - my plan has evolved, I've evolved, and I've learned to let go of the plan a little bit more with each adventure.

Fast forward, I'm 30.  I'm not in a serious relationship, I'm not having kids, and I'm in the middle of a huge risk in my career path.  I'm the opposite of the plan.  And that's both really scary and really exciting.  At 21 I was unsure of myself, of my career path, and had no business thinking about marriage.  So at 30 its great to be in a place that I like where I'm at, where I'm headed, and most importantly, I really like myself.  

So ladies (and gents), I applaud you if you are 21, married, and happy.  I applaud you if you're 42, single, and happy.  I applaud you if you're 22 and in your dream job and I applaud you if you're 65 and going back to school. The point of it all, is be happy.  Don't plan so much.  Enjoy the twists in your plot.  I'm still going to make plans and lists - but I'll be more okay when I have to abandon those plans for the next adventure.  Because as much and I'm terrified of the unknown - I'm equally as excited to go on my next journey, wherever that may be.

The Female Body

You guys.  I have to tell you something really shocking.  I don't have the perfect body.

Ok - is everyone still with me?  I know, that was a lot and most of you probably still don't believe it, but its true. 

Being a woman is really hard.  From the time we are old enough to understand, we are told we are too tall, too fat, our skin is too dark, we are too thin, our hair is too thin, we are too pale - honestly the list never ends.  I just saw a YouTube tutorial the other day about contouring your legs.  I can't even manage to make winged eyeliner work and now I have to contour my legs to keep up?  No.  I'm drawing the line at contouring my legs.  Realistically I'm drawing the line at winged eyeliner and that's mostly because Adele hasn't put out a tutorial yet.  But I'm tired.  I'm tired of keeping up and tired of being told what I'm supposed to look like as a woman. 

For a good many years, I struggled with body image disorder.  Yes even in college when I was a division one athlete with very little body fat and one kick ass backside, I struggled with thinking I was fat. I vividly remember one of my male roommates making a joke about cellulite and not being able to think of anything else for a week.  I've hated my body so much that I wouldn't be naked in front of a mirror.  I've skipped going out because I felt so unattractive I didn't want to be in public. 

So what changed?  Why am I more confident at 30 - in a body with imperfections - than I was as a 20 year old?  To be completely honest, I changed.  I stopped accepting the idea of perfect and I stopped worrying about how to look like the ideal woman.  The flaws?  They're proof I've lived a full and happy life.  I don't worry about indulging too much one week because I'm on vacation.  I don't beat myself up over missed workouts.  I listen to what my body needs, I do what my body loves, and I praise my body for getting through a long list of ailments. 

There's always going to be a lot of opinions about what makes a woman attractive physically.  And its always changing.  And if you spend time talking to any woman you will hear a laundry list of things she wishes were different about her body.  Its a cycle.  Even the most positive strong female influences around fall victim to body shaming themselves or someone else.  How do we fix it?

We start by being body positive.  We embrace differences and flaws and we stop hating our bodies.  We stop judging other women.  And we stop supporting the companies and magazines who focus on looks.  And we hold men accountable for the same standards.  It starts with valuing yourself and empowering yourself and by doing that you refuse to let others tell you that your body and your beauty define you.

The thing that bothers me the most about body image today is that women are taught this is our biggest value.  You don't hear women talked about as scientists, authors, doctors, activists - you hear about what we wore, how much weight we lost - and that's what our daughters see.  Women are truly the fiercest creatures on the planet.  We give birth, we provide for our families, we work, we love and we truly do it all.  Own that.  Own how powerful and beautiful that is. 

It took me years to love my entire package.  Body, beauty, and brains - and I'll be damned if anyone can take that confidence from me.  I may not be the ideal image this world deems is what we should strive for - and that's good - because I wasn't made to fit any one mold anyway.  And now that I love everything I am - I'm told as a woman that makes me cocky.  If I respond to a compliment with a thank you, if I post a selfie because I like the way I look - I'm shallow and arrogant.  And I think that is your problem.  I think I'm attractive inside and out and I won't qualify that to make someone else more comfortable.  I'm not here for your comfort.  Whether or not someone thinks I'm attractive, or arrogant has very little to do with me and everything to do with their own insecurities.

I challenge all women to love yourself more.  Celebrate what you love about you.  And stop buying into a culture that forces women to compete against each other.  Tell the wonderful women in your life how special they are.  How beautiful they are both inside and out.  And stop the body bashing.  Stop the qualifying comments.  Tell each other we are strong, we are beautiful souls and we are more than what we look like.  Raise daughters who crave learning and adventuring more than they care about what they weigh.  Be part of changing the culture of conforming.  It's 2016 and we run this thing.

The Roster - An Introduction

Everything in my life revolves around sports.  You can relate any situation in life to sports.  Sports and life are both competitions, there are winners and losers, you have to train to succeed, and you have to play by the rules or risk a penalty.  Dating is the ultimate sport.  You gotta recruit (meet people), you gotta have tryouts (get to know your recruits), there's cuts (Step up or step aside gentlemen), there's franchise players (we're talking MVP good), contract negotiations (your needs/wants from the other person), it's a system built on strategy.  And if you don't play the game right, you will not have a winning team.  Everybody wants a championship team.  Nobody wants to be the 2008 Detroit Lions (0-16).  I don't care who you are or what your thoughts are on sports, winning is everything in life, and winning in love, is the Super Bowl of life. 

The Roster is the ultimate way to use the principles of sports in love.  A strong roster ensures a strong love life and keeps you sane throughout the dating process; but only if you follow the rules and work a good strategy on and off the playing field.  Much like an NBA team, the roster has a starting five.  These are the best players on your team with number one being the team captain.  Also just like in sports, you need a second string, or some players on the bench that are there for you when you need them.  These are your three bench players.  That puts you at a team of eight.  Any more than eight and you're fielding a less than talented team.  It's like having the dream team playing for you and then calling up the local high school and asking if a few of their kids would like to pinch hit in a world series game.  You don't sacrifice quality.  You may have less players at times in order to preserve the quality, but you need to have a minimum of three in play or the roster becomes ineffective.  Less is not more ladies and gentleman, less is less, less is what got you to where you are today.  Less does not win you a championship ring. 

So why a roster?  Well, why do women spend so much time talking about men?  Seriously, I want to know (most likely because we are taught that if you're single, there's something wrong with you).  Don't get me wrong, I love men.  They're great to look at (Nobody actually knows what happens in Criminal Minds, we just know that for the better part of an hour we will get to watch Shemar Moore be gorgeous) and some men even have great things to say (You're right BAE, the Giants pitching lineup is a lost cause right now), but am I the only woman that wants to slap 85% of the women I talk to today?  I completely understand why he doesn't want you, you have nothing to offer to the relationship because you only talk about him.  Have you not heard of shoes?  Football?  Baseball? Happy Hour?  There are so many shiny objects, delicious drinks, and shoe stores that I've never even seen.  Stop obsessing about what he thinks, what his words mean, and why he hasn't called you.  If he wants to see you, he will.  If he wants to call you, he will.  If not, he won't.  And in the end if all you did was spend your time worrying, analyzing, and talking about him, you won't have anything to be more happy about when it doesn't work out (because you're crazy).  I can't remember most of the men I spent time worrying hours on end about, but I can tell you what shoes I wore to Delta Gamma spring formal in 2005 (gold strappy Steve Maddens), who won the 2010 world series (GIANTS!), when the super bowl is this year (February 5, 2017), and how much the big bottle of Patron costs at BevMo ($79.99).  The purpose of the roster, is to prevent you from becoming a crazy obsessive person by shifting your focus and dividing it up amongst your team.   I guarantee you, your Facebook stalking, your praying he will text you, and your accidental run ins at his gym are getting you no place but in court for a restraining order.  Simply wanting something is not enough, Joe Montana didn't wake up in the morning and think, I want to win the Super Bowl and it's done, he developed a plan, he trained, and he molded his whole life to achieve that goal.  In order to get your number one, you need to do the same.  Think of this as spring training for your life, let's see if you can make the big leagues.  And as always, there's no crying in baseball.

College Football - Checking In

Well here we are team - a month into the college football season and what a season its been so far!  There have been so many big upsets and week four did not disappoint.  I thought now that we've seen enough teams compete in some legitimate games it was time to break down where we are at and what I think about the season to come.

Top 25

Please review the top 25 as of September 25th.  Link here: http://collegefootball.ap.org/poll

All caught up?  Great.  Let's bullet point some takeaways.

• Alabama still reigns #1 which really doesn't surprise anyone
• I'm also in agreement with Ohio State at No. 2 right now
• Stanford needs to regroup.  That game was too close for comfort and should not have been so challenging.  They're young though and if you look at the depth of their talent, they could get scary good next season.
• Wisconsin came in HOT this week.  At 4-0 with a win against Michigan State don't sleep on this team currently at No. 8.  I'm excited to see how they fare against Michigan this weekend
• Texas A&M at No. 9 is a toss up for me.  They could be a sleeper and they could fizzle.  I need to see a better test than Arkansas to form a better opinion
• Georgia doesn't deserve Top 25.  If you think any differently you're drunk.
• Ole Miss had a big win, just demolished Georgia - but I'm not sure I agree with a 7 spot jump.  Georgia is plagued with injuries and doesn't belong in the Top 25 so while it was a blowout game, was it really against a big team?
• TCU is always one of those teams who's really strong and one big win away from being something special.  I love watching them continue to be competitive
• Realistically there was very little movement in the top so nothing too crazy to report
• Houston at 6 is great and all but have you looked at their remaining schedule?  No real big games coming up.  Not sure they have enough challenges to lift them much higher.
• The longhorns are MY TEAM.  At 22 we had that BIG early win in one of the best games in the history of the program but the remainder of the schedule isn't super competitive.  We should win most all - but finishing at the top 5 isn't in the cards this year.  I'll tell you though, Charlie Strong is HUGE for this program.  Excited to see where we go!

Next Week and Beyond: What the experts are saying vs. What I'm saying

Experts

• Early predictions show an Alabama vs. Michigan championship.
• Other teams at the top are Ohio State, Louisville, Stanford, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Ole Miss, Washington, and Houston.
• Michigan beats Wisconsin this week
• Stanford beats Washington
• Clemson over Louisville

Me

• The biggest question is who can challenge Alabama?  I don't want to see an Alabama Ohio State championship.  In fact, I'd love to see both out entirely.
• Wisconsin had a huge game but with two tough games coming up - can they hang on?  If they can, the momentum is huge and they could have a shot at it all.  If not - they'll drop back to good but not great.
• Florida State is irrelevant.  In general they're inconsistent and I'm not willing to put much behind them.
• Ole Miss let's get real - you had a big win but you blew it in two big games against two top 5 teams.  I don't see them making it top 5 but they might land top 10.
• Bless Oklahoma's heart but ya'll aren't doing much in 2016. (Irv if you're reading this I love you please don't hate me)
• Ignore LSU entirely.
• Stanford will beat Washington but really needs to work on its passing game
• I think Michigan will beat Wisconsin but I want to see Wisconsin win.  They have the potential and the momentum but Michigan is hot right now
• I'll disagree with the experts and go Louisville.  Their offense is too good.

Final Thoughts

It's early.  Not AP Poll preseason irrelevant rankings early - but still plenty of time to make or break a season.  I'd love to see Alabama challenged soon but I don't think they'll have much real competition until Texas A&M - and that's still weeks away.  Now that we are in the thick of Fall I vow to include more college breakdown and thoughts. And if you thought I would do this for the NFL, sad to say - it won't happen.  The NFL is dead to me right now.  But we'll get into that later.  In the meantime - talk to me about your college predictions and what you're hoping for.  With all the upsets and unexpected injuries so far - its a heck of a time to be a college football fan!

This One's for YOU!

Hi Team!  Shockingly I've gotten a ton of emails, text messages, and Tweets with suggestions regarding blog and lifestyle content.  I KNOW - you're actually reading and I appreciate you for that!  So I wanted to let everyone know that if you have something you want to see me write about - TELL ME!  Send me an email and I'll start to incorporate some of your suggestions!

Additionally if you've got feedback about anything, please feel free to share!

Thanks for supporting me and Sparkle On!

This is 30.

I've taken 30 really seriously.  It's as if the day I turned 30 I associated myself with being an adult responsible for the rest of the world.  It's irrational, absurd, and absolutely my personality. 

I often say "I can't do that, I'm 30."  Or "I should be doing this, I'm 30."  It makes no sense, I'm no more mature than I was at 29, but for some reason - its an age that resonates with me.  I would like to share with you some of the things I think I can and cannot do now that I'm 30, because its funny - and laughter is my favorite.

• I can't go out two nights in a row and if we are going out tomorrow I need a nap first
• That kid is like 12
• Well I had wine at dinner so I need to stick with wine and can you get me some water to chug in between?
• Shots?  You want to take shots?  Why don't I just lay in the middle of the street instead and let a bunch of cars run me over.
• Why are all women wearing shorts that show their butts?  Cover up your special parts mam.
• What's your healthcare package look like?
• My back hurts.  My knees hurt. I think I pulled a hamstring walking up those stairs.
• How much fiber is in this?
• What kind of vitamins do you take?
• What does on fleek mean?  Am I saying that right?  Did I use it correctly?
• Why are these kids so loud?  Turn your music down its 10:00.
• My entire body hurts from dancing at that wedding last night.
• Are we going to date or what?  I don't have time to play coy and do that whole "talking thing."
• I'm an adult if I want to have wine for dinner I damn well can
• Day drinking is God's gift to 30 year olds.  You drink during the day and go to sleep by 8.  And then you wake up the next day hangover free
• Should I be married with kids by now?  *Hears crying child* Never mind.
• When I was in college...
• Oh you don't want to file papers?  You're 12, you just graduated college, earn your place child.
• I have heartburn
• Hey that guys cute - he's 18?  Awesome, I'm a pedophile.
• It's midnight?  I need to go home.  I should be in bed.
• Going out is now going to dinner and going home
• Refuses to drink well or house anything

Let's all take a moment to remember the Ashley in her 20's.  The woman who now seems like a judgmental cranky 90 year old and who used to go to Vegas every day, religiously participate in Sunday Funday, and who you've all watched puke and rally.  May she rest in peace. 

Politically Correct

2016 is the year of the political expert.  Every other post on Facebook is a political opinion from someone who decided its cool to be involved and thus has to voice their opinion to the masses to keep up.  And we should be politically involved.  But its more important to be politically informed.  There's a lot of what I'm calling the parrot effect going on.  Someone sees or hears something and repeats it with no educational research behind it.  And that's where we get the most dangerous voter out there - the uninformed, do what's popular voter.  The person who has no idea the implications of their vote or the responsibility associated.  I dare to guess a good 50% of these parrots are probably not even registered to vote.

Between the social injustices, political abuse, gun violence, and abuse of power in America right now - 2016 is a critical voting year.  We are also in a Presidential year with two candidates who in my opinion really showcase the dangerous time we are in as a country.  The ramifications from voting in 2016 are huge.  Who we choose to lead us, how we vote on issues big and small is going to shape us for the next decade. 

Now this isn't about how to vote, I'm not going to begin to share my views politically or even open up a discussion on political opinions.  The most important political view I have is to be informed.  Do your research.  I don't care if you're voting on a water tax for your small hometown or on the President of the United States - be equally as aware of what that vote means.  Do not cast one vote without having made an informed decision as to what that vote means to the world around you. 

In a month, in a year, whenever politics become just another part of life and not at the forefront of our minds - I don't want to be living in a world that was decided because it was cool to talk about. 

Now I also want to address another dangerous voter out there - the close minded loud mouth.  This is the person who yells the loudest and has the strongest opinion.  The person who during a political discussion isn't listening - they're waiting for their opportunity to disagree with you - loudly.  How are we ever going to get along, to effect change if we live in a world full of people who aren't open to other opinions?  In a world of billions - you've got an equal number of different life experiences thus billions of different views.  Life experiences shape us and determine our political and social opinions.  It's reasonable to expect that even the most open minded person is still going to have some part of them that sticks to their opinions based on life experience.  However - if we continue to shout arguments at each other and not truly listen to what another person has to say - there will be no change.  And while we will continue to inherently disagree on a lot of issues - we can agree to disagree and determine a course of action that's respectful to both sides.  We've done it before, its not easy, its ugly, it takes time, but it is possible. 

Here's the takeaway for today:

1. Get informed: You're not an expert. Do your research, talk to experts, talk to those that will be most affected - become educated.
2. Open your mind: Stand fiercely behind your values and opinions but keep a piece of your mind open to truly listen to other opinions.  Engage in discussion with people who come from different backgrounds and experiences, do not be afraid to ask questions.  
3. VOTE

I love America for all that it stands for because even our ugliest qualities are things we can change because we have the right to talk about them freely.  Are we the best we could possibly be?  Not even close.  But you have the opportunity to be part of the change, don't ever take that for granted.  Don't ever think your voice and your vote don't count. 

Sparkles and Cupcakes and Rainbows Oh My!

Life is ugly.  It's hard and challenging and painful.  It's heartbreaks and its scary.  Its push you down and then kick you and throws a bill on you for what its done to you.  Life doesn't care if you're a sinner or a saint, rich or poor - whether you can handle a hard time or not.

Life is also beautiful.  It's miracles and love and luck.  It's overcoming the odds, unimaginable joy, laughter, and gifts you with things you never thought possible.  Life doesn't care if you're a sinner or a saint, rich or poor - whether you deserve the good or not.

Life is made up of two people.  Those who choose to focus on the good and those who choose to focus on the bad.  It is always a choice.  Because while you can't always control what happens to you, you can control how you react to it.  You can be in the middle of gut wrenching all consuming life events and yet you STILL have a choice: let it define you or choose to let it motivate you.

I see you on Facebook, on IG, Tweeting - I see you expressing negativity, yelling about how life isn't fair.  And you're right - life isn't fair.  It won't ever be fair.  Don't worry about why things happen to you.  Don't point fingers at people who "have it easier."  Someone always has it better and someone always has it worse.

You have a choice: make life sparkles and cupcakes and rainbows, or let it defeat you.  I choose to embrace the pain, experience the hurt, but work my way back to positivity through choosing to be happy.  You literally only get one shot at life - this is not a drill - how are you going to live it?