This is 30.

I've taken 30 really seriously.  It's as if the day I turned 30 I associated myself with being an adult responsible for the rest of the world.  It's irrational, absurd, and absolutely my personality. 

I often say "I can't do that, I'm 30."  Or "I should be doing this, I'm 30."  It makes no sense, I'm no more mature than I was at 29, but for some reason - its an age that resonates with me.  I would like to share with you some of the things I think I can and cannot do now that I'm 30, because its funny - and laughter is my favorite.

• I can't go out two nights in a row and if we are going out tomorrow I need a nap first
• That kid is like 12
• Well I had wine at dinner so I need to stick with wine and can you get me some water to chug in between?
• Shots?  You want to take shots?  Why don't I just lay in the middle of the street instead and let a bunch of cars run me over.
• Why are all women wearing shorts that show their butts?  Cover up your special parts mam.
• What's your healthcare package look like?
• My back hurts.  My knees hurt. I think I pulled a hamstring walking up those stairs.
• How much fiber is in this?
• What kind of vitamins do you take?
• What does on fleek mean?  Am I saying that right?  Did I use it correctly?
• Why are these kids so loud?  Turn your music down its 10:00.
• My entire body hurts from dancing at that wedding last night.
• Are we going to date or what?  I don't have time to play coy and do that whole "talking thing."
• I'm an adult if I want to have wine for dinner I damn well can
• Day drinking is God's gift to 30 year olds.  You drink during the day and go to sleep by 8.  And then you wake up the next day hangover free
• Should I be married with kids by now?  *Hears crying child* Never mind.
• When I was in college...
• Oh you don't want to file papers?  You're 12, you just graduated college, earn your place child.
• I have heartburn
• Hey that guys cute - he's 18?  Awesome, I'm a pedophile.
• It's midnight?  I need to go home.  I should be in bed.
• Going out is now going to dinner and going home
• Refuses to drink well or house anything

Let's all take a moment to remember the Ashley in her 20's.  The woman who now seems like a judgmental cranky 90 year old and who used to go to Vegas every day, religiously participate in Sunday Funday, and who you've all watched puke and rally.  May she rest in peace. 

Politically Correct

2016 is the year of the political expert.  Every other post on Facebook is a political opinion from someone who decided its cool to be involved and thus has to voice their opinion to the masses to keep up.  And we should be politically involved.  But its more important to be politically informed.  There's a lot of what I'm calling the parrot effect going on.  Someone sees or hears something and repeats it with no educational research behind it.  And that's where we get the most dangerous voter out there - the uninformed, do what's popular voter.  The person who has no idea the implications of their vote or the responsibility associated.  I dare to guess a good 50% of these parrots are probably not even registered to vote.

Between the social injustices, political abuse, gun violence, and abuse of power in America right now - 2016 is a critical voting year.  We are also in a Presidential year with two candidates who in my opinion really showcase the dangerous time we are in as a country.  The ramifications from voting in 2016 are huge.  Who we choose to lead us, how we vote on issues big and small is going to shape us for the next decade. 

Now this isn't about how to vote, I'm not going to begin to share my views politically or even open up a discussion on political opinions.  The most important political view I have is to be informed.  Do your research.  I don't care if you're voting on a water tax for your small hometown or on the President of the United States - be equally as aware of what that vote means.  Do not cast one vote without having made an informed decision as to what that vote means to the world around you. 

In a month, in a year, whenever politics become just another part of life and not at the forefront of our minds - I don't want to be living in a world that was decided because it was cool to talk about. 

Now I also want to address another dangerous voter out there - the close minded loud mouth.  This is the person who yells the loudest and has the strongest opinion.  The person who during a political discussion isn't listening - they're waiting for their opportunity to disagree with you - loudly.  How are we ever going to get along, to effect change if we live in a world full of people who aren't open to other opinions?  In a world of billions - you've got an equal number of different life experiences thus billions of different views.  Life experiences shape us and determine our political and social opinions.  It's reasonable to expect that even the most open minded person is still going to have some part of them that sticks to their opinions based on life experience.  However - if we continue to shout arguments at each other and not truly listen to what another person has to say - there will be no change.  And while we will continue to inherently disagree on a lot of issues - we can agree to disagree and determine a course of action that's respectful to both sides.  We've done it before, its not easy, its ugly, it takes time, but it is possible. 

Here's the takeaway for today:

1. Get informed: You're not an expert. Do your research, talk to experts, talk to those that will be most affected - become educated.
2. Open your mind: Stand fiercely behind your values and opinions but keep a piece of your mind open to truly listen to other opinions.  Engage in discussion with people who come from different backgrounds and experiences, do not be afraid to ask questions.  
3. VOTE

I love America for all that it stands for because even our ugliest qualities are things we can change because we have the right to talk about them freely.  Are we the best we could possibly be?  Not even close.  But you have the opportunity to be part of the change, don't ever take that for granted.  Don't ever think your voice and your vote don't count. 

Sparkles and Cupcakes and Rainbows Oh My!

Life is ugly.  It's hard and challenging and painful.  It's heartbreaks and its scary.  Its push you down and then kick you and throws a bill on you for what its done to you.  Life doesn't care if you're a sinner or a saint, rich or poor - whether you can handle a hard time or not.

Life is also beautiful.  It's miracles and love and luck.  It's overcoming the odds, unimaginable joy, laughter, and gifts you with things you never thought possible.  Life doesn't care if you're a sinner or a saint, rich or poor - whether you deserve the good or not.

Life is made up of two people.  Those who choose to focus on the good and those who choose to focus on the bad.  It is always a choice.  Because while you can't always control what happens to you, you can control how you react to it.  You can be in the middle of gut wrenching all consuming life events and yet you STILL have a choice: let it define you or choose to let it motivate you.

I see you on Facebook, on IG, Tweeting - I see you expressing negativity, yelling about how life isn't fair.  And you're right - life isn't fair.  It won't ever be fair.  Don't worry about why things happen to you.  Don't point fingers at people who "have it easier."  Someone always has it better and someone always has it worse.

You have a choice: make life sparkles and cupcakes and rainbows, or let it defeat you.  I choose to embrace the pain, experience the hurt, but work my way back to positivity through choosing to be happy.  You literally only get one shot at life - this is not a drill - how are you going to live it?

He's Not the One.

I have a problem.  I like to refer to it as having high standards but realistically its a severe commitment phobia.  This leads me to avoid the attractive, nice, family oriented guy who has his shit together and to instead date the 28 year old frat boy who still thinks its cool to party five days a week.  I don't need therapy, I know I'm picking the wrong guys to avoid real commitment.  The first step is admitting the problem.  The second step is making a list of qualities in the men I've recently dated in order to avoid thinking about the good guy I'm currently in the middle of ghosting.  BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT GROWN UPS DO.  Now back to this list.  In no particular order and without naming names, here's how to know that he's just not the one:

1) He can't talk tonight because he has to make 300 Jell-O shots for his float trip tomorrow

2) He's wearing frat tanks over the age of 25 every chance he gets

3) Says things like "I'm gonna get tanked this weekend, like super blacked out"

4) Thinks texting is ok as the only form of communicating and follows such rules as not texting back first or waiting an appropriate amount of time to respond

5) Must snapchat all activities and then Facebook, Instagram, and Tweet them to make sure everyone knows he's having fun because you can't have fun if its not on social media

6) Spends $800 on bottle service but does not have a 401K or retirement plan

7) His mom still does his laundry because she lives close by so its just easier

8) When traveling he only does the activities involving large amounts of alcohol.  Who needs culture when you can blackout the trip?

9) Insists he only does cocaine and molly "occasionally" because he's responsible

10) Last book he read was Facebook but it was political so obviously super educational

I'd like to note these are just a few of my favorite.  What are yours?  Give me some of your best "He's Not the One" characteristics.  Also open to "She's Not the One" because I'd hate to think I'm discriminating against the funny. 

Dating in 2016

I've got a new book idea.  I'm going to compile all the unwanted pictures my friends and I have received and I'm going to create a coffee table book.  Relax - we won't name names.  It's enough to know that someday you may have to play the game called "Is that yours" with your significant other. 

This is dating in 2016.  While I watch TV and Tweet, I can swipe right or left on three different apps and set up dates for the rest of the week.  I'm sorry, not dates - I can "grab a drink, hangout, chill, meet up" or any one of the other vague invitations our generation utilizes for romance.

Now call me old school, call me high maintenance - but what happened to asking a girl on a date?  From what I vaguely remember, it goes a little something like this: "Would you like to have dinner with me this Thursday?"  You may substitute dinner with a Giants game as well but the point is - ask me on a date, have a plan for an activity, set a date and time.  I'll even let this happen via text because I'd hate to be too demanding.   

Now if we vibe on said date, let's go ahead and bypass the games.  Don't worry about when you're supposed to text, how long it takes to text back, and maybe even pick up the phone and call me.  For reference, it's that little green phone button, press it and when it rings, say hello. 

Sarcasm aside - life is short.  Having a partner in life is awesome.  Skip the games, take it back to basics, and you may have a shot at the real deal.  Maybe I'm naïve but I just don't think my lobster is out there waiting to ask me to Netflix and Chill.

Just a dumb jock.

As we now enter this Fall 2016 football season (and what an epic opening weekend for college football indeed), I'm reminded about why sports are everything.  My entire life has revolved around sports.  I was born into a family of athletes, competed as a Division One athlete, and then I started my career working in sports.  To say I have a passion for all things Athletic is an understatement.  

Sports truly mimic life  You are put in the most intense of situations, your physical and mental strength is put to the test, and you have to learn to play nice.  There are rules both written and unofficial, relationships formed and broken, you win and you lose.  It's an industry that puts you at the edge of your comfort zone, then pushes you off that cliff and says "what else can you do?".  Sure, there are the bad apples, the people who give sports a bad name, but I also think some of the smartest and most talented individuals exist in this world.  Dumb jocks that they are, they're challenged to act at both a physical and mental peak.  No, we are not building planes or performing surgery, but we are using our brain and our body at the same time.  And yea, those of us not even paid to be the athletes are doing the same.  I dare not compare myself to Lebron or Serena, but you bet your ass I've run 100 yards jumping over football players to get stats or field passes to someone.  I've had to help fans out from under a collapsed tent in a storm and I've had to stop fights between 300 pound linemen.  My job has not been all sideline passes and suite food.  Give us all a little more credit.  Because while I cannot balance the budgets you do at the bank or teach a student how to do well...anything...I can solve problems at the drop of a hat in really tense situations while dodging baseballs at 95mph.  I can work 14 hours in a snowstorm and then get on a plane and do it all again in 4 days.  All with my hair curled and my lip gloss on point (You're welcome.).  And in the end, when I'm standing on the sideline at some of the top football programs in the nation, or I'm helping NBA athletes fundraise for their charities - I am in the zone and I am living the dream. You can have your 8 hour work day, your corner office, and your 6 figure salary - I'll keep checking off my bucket list and get paid doing it.

The Briefest of Introductions

The first 21 years of my life were spent within an hour radius of where I was born and raised.  Outside of a brief year and a half spent 5 hours away (and doing a lot of partying and irresponsible activities, sorry Grandma!) - I never left the bubble that raised me.  

I had your standard suburban life.  The two parents, 2 kids and a dog.  My family has always been incredibly close and while we are far from perfect, I was always provided for.  We are overachievers and we are fiercely loyal to our own. I'm also lucky enough to have grown up within an hour of most of my extended family.  The bubble that raised me.

In December of 2012 I took a leap of faith and moved 1,000 miles away to a city where I had never been, knew not a soul, and that had drastically different climate than I was used to.  Snow is cute and all - until there's a white out and your car is in four feet of snow and you bought the small ice scraper at Home Depot.  I digress - it was this move that defined who I am today.  The confidence that making that move gave me has completely changed who I am. I'm no longer the girl who never left her bubble, I'm the girl who takes risks, who speaks her mind, who believes in dreams coming true.  Since that move I've lived in two other cities far from home and each time I gain more confidence and grow more than I ever thought possible.  Because of that move I'm a fighter, a survivor and a woman who gets shit done.

I've gone through a lot in these 30 glorious years of life - but I'm thankful for the experiences that define me.  Just know I'm a badass, sparkling, adventurous, loving, loyal to the core, always laughing, sometimes swearing (usually at the 49ers) lady of leisure. 

So where am I today?  Today, I'm between adventures.  My next move? Hopefully back to where it all began.  Buckle up, it's about to get exciting (and probably a little weird).

...To be Continued...