The Business of Events

I've been in the business of events for awhile now.  And a lot of people think that all I do is pick out flowers and choose linens.  While I do those things - I also have a strategy behind every decision and detail at each event.  More recently my job entails big brands and more marketing than traditional hospitality events.  But the basics behind event planning remain the same.

Events are the face of your company.  They are how people directly engage with your brand and become familiar with your products.  Events are a big part of business, and treating them as any less, is a big mistake for your brand. 

When planning events, there's a basic outline for ensuring success.

Have a Goal

The first thing I want to know when I'm tasked with an event is what's the goal.  Is it financial?  Is it a feeling?  Are we tracking impressions?  There needs to be a clear goal that leads each and every decision moving forward.  Everyone involved needs to understand that goal and be able to tie every event detail back to that overarching goal.  Without a goal, you're having an event for the sake of having an event - in which case, just throw a bunch of money in the trash and call it even.

Know Your Brand

What does your brand stand for?  What are the colors, feelings, sounds, vibes - what represents that brand?  Every décor choice, entertainment decision, menu plan - all of that works together to create a representation of your brand. The things people see, hear, taste, and feel will all remind them of your brand.  If you've got a fun brand, make the event fun.  If your brand thrives on more serious engagement - don't bring in a comedian.  Stick with your brand messaging and get innovative in how you showcase what that means.

Invest in the Details

The details are what matter.  Don't phone in the color choices, the food, the music.  Every single detail comes together to create the total package.  When you get sloppy, neglect something small - someone will notice.  And that reflects back onto the brand.  Be obsessively detailed.  Annoyingly so.  There are enough uncontrollable pieces that go wrong at every event.  If you are obsessive over what you can control, you're better equipped to handle the things you can't control.

Be Budget Conscious

Budget is everything.  Be diligent about sticking to your budget.  And be knowledgeable about what a realistic budget is for what you want to achieve.  It's unrealistic to expect to wow the attendees on a peanuts budget.  But even with a limitless budget - focus on spending wisely.  Even if your bottom line goal isn't financial, its just plain stupid to spend when you don't need to.

Recap

For every single event you need to do a post event recap.  I don't care if it's lunch for five executives or a ball for 5,000.  Recap what you did, what worked, what didn't.  Get feedback from everyone.  Talk to guests, staff, vendors, everyone.  Be diligent in getting this done.  Do not wait.  How can you possibly improve if you don't have explicit details about what you've done in the past? 

Events are anything but simply picking out décor and tasting menus.  Events are an opportunity to create a feeling to your consumers.  Make sure you're understanding the importance of events and the potential they have for consumer loyalty. 

The Feels

The other day - my girlfriends were asking me how I feel about a guy I'm talking to (IDK what the cool kids call it these days.) And I couldn't answer the question.

I don't do feelings.  I don't remember the last time I cried.  I generally don't speak to how I feel.  But lately, I've gotten to the point where I don't even know what I'm feeling.  I've learned to ignore, shut down, and avoid feelings so much that I can't accurately gauge how I feel about a lot of things.

And that's not healthy.

A lot of people tell me I'm tough.  Strong.  But not understanding my own feelings, not allowing myself to feel all the feels - that's not strong, that's stupid.

It served as a little wake up call for me.  A big wake up call actually.  I've dealt with a lot emotionally over the past year and I've done a lot of avoiding emotions about it all.  And I've utilized distractions.  I've done everything possible to kind of give up on the situation - pretend its not there. I've let a lot of people tell me a lot about how I supposedly feel. But now I'm at a place where I'm genuinely worried about my inability to connect with how I feel.

So I'm taking action.  I don't want to continue on a path of neutral. 

Now considering I'm clearly not the best person to guide me in the feelings department - I'm asking for help.  I've made an appointment with a therapist so that I can talk to a neutral party - which heavily appeals to my sense of reason.  But I also think that its going to force me into some uncomfortable moments - and that's what I need to figure this whole thing out.

On top of seeing a therapist - I've started journaling.  I bought one of those prompt journals on Amazon with all the stars on the review and I'm actually using it to help me write down my thoughts at the end of the day. 

Sure - these are probably obvious solutions and two really basic steps to working through the feels.  But its a really big step for me.  Writing all of this out loud for the three of you who read this - it's a lot for me.  Admitting that I'm in a little bit of a scary place - is really hard for me.  Vulnerable is a bad word in my world.  It's a weakness.  But in an effort to grow, to stick to being the best version of me, and getting the most out of this awesome life I was given - I've got to be brave.  And in doing so, I hope that maybe someone out there will read this, and they'll feel brave enough to ask for help too.

Asking for help isn't shameful.  We've got the whole world backwards when it comes to mental and emotional health.  What's shameful is not getting help from the experts.  What's shameful should be settling for a life of neutrality, of less than our best.  Don't ever feel shame for recognizing you're in a time of need.  And don't wait until it's really bad. Reach out, get help, and get back to awesome.  

Squad Goals.

I'm 31.  And for some reason I think that makes me old and wise.  Like 95 and lived it all old and wise.  Because of that - I like to share my knowledge with ya'll as if its the law of physics. 

Today, we will learn about #SquadGoals.  For those of you not as hip as me - the squad is the friendship group you keep.  I'm actually not sure if the kids are still saying squad, but they should. 

At 21 - the squad goals revolve around being seen with the coolest people, knowing the right people who can get you free table service and really just being seen at the right places.  It's a lot of work to maintain that lifestyle and the squad is ever changing due to drama and the hierarchy.  One wrong move and you're demoted to a less awesome squad and really what else is there to live for?

At 31 - the squad goals revolve around being with the most positive real people, knowing they've got your back, and being with people you can sit on your couch getting wine wasted with and feel at ease. 

I'm a really big fan of squad goals at 31.  I'm already an anxious person - I don't need to be worrying about where I stand in the squad, if I've been seen enough on a weekend, and who I need to suck up to in order to stay relevant.  Now let's not get it twisted - in my day I was really good at the free table service, doing the celebrity pro athlete casual "I hang with so and so" thing (vomit), and always the last one to leave the party - but today - I am not that person - and I love that.

My squad now is what makes me a better person.  They're teaching me its ok to be vulnerable.  They call me on my bullshit.  They support me fiercely.  These are the people that are my family.  And they're worth more than a night at the club at the best table any day of the week.  I think the even cooler thing is a lot of these people knew me at my 20s hot mess (but still sparkly) phase and they still think I rock. 

At 31 - I want stability.  I crave loyalty.  I thrive on positivity. And the people I consider my squad embody these things.  They're the realest of the real and I couldn't want anything more. 

My squad consists of the people I sit on the couch with drinking wine and pinteresting with.  They're the people who know I need Taco Bell sometimes and as disgusting as that is - they're in the passenger seat ordering tacos for everyone.  They're the friends who know I am 100% down for brunch but don't ask me to go somewhere at 10PM because I'm already in my onesie snuggling my puppy.  And they are the best humans that can tell when I'm not ok and force themselves on me because they care that much. 

Squad Goals at 31 are my cheerleaders, my judge and jury, my perfectly imperfect people I could never live without.  Maybe we aren't the coolest (lies), the most on the scene (Is the dog park a scene?), or hanging out with celebrities (right, like they can even compare) every night - but we are real and doing our best in this world to just figure it all out.  And when you've got a good gang to do that with - that's true #SquadGoals.

Open to More.

I grew up in California.  I spent 26 years living in California.  Californians are generally brought up a bit more liberal.  We are existing in a pretty diverse community surrounded by so many religious, political, and lifestyle beliefs that it becomes second nature.  I'm more comfortable around diverse groups of people than I am in a room of people that share my lifestyle.

I've always considered myself an extremely open minded person.  I generally believe in treating everyone as you wish to be treated.  But living in the South has taught me a whole new way to open my mind and really think about the different beliefs of people around me. 

Texas is generally a conservative state.  There is still a lot of racism, restrictions on women's reproductive rights, and a lot of Trump supporters.  And a lot of these people are really vocal about those beliefs.  They preach Christianity but also shout from the rooftops really ignorant beliefs.  And something I've learned - is that you can't talk reason to someone who truly believes in what they've been bred to believe.

I'm not into dividing people politically.  I actually think people who commit their lives to one party are misguided.  It's more important to me to look at the bigger picture and how policy fits into the lives of Americans rather than blindly following red vs. blue.  But the more I speak to the die hard reds out here, the more open minded I've become.

I used to clump any Trump supporter in a group of idiots.  Because how could anyone possibly vote for such a truly horrible human being.  But then I've met people whom I truly respect and enjoy that have also made the mistake of voting for Trump.  And it's given me pause.  It's forced me to understand why they felt the need to support such a person.  And while I still don't agree with that support - I cannot possibly just lump those in the Trump voter category as idiots.  Now if they're still actively touting this man as a great human being, my respect does dwindle but I digress.

It's interesting to be forced to look at someone who's beliefs you actively disagree with in a new light.  No, I don't suddenly feel that a bunch of old white men have any business directing what I can do with my body - but I do feel more compassion for the people that truly believe these things.  They've grown up in a really different world than I have.  They feel their religion dictates what they believe.  Or they're sheltered by their circumstances.  The point is - people are a whole compilation of their background, religion, lifestyle, the people they spend the most time with - and they're not simply X, Y, and Z opinions.

Taking the time to find my patience, ask the questions, and be more accepting - that's what the South is teaching me.  Slowly, but surely, I'm getting there.  I'm starting to realize how lucky I was to grow up in a state that gave me the world of diversity it did.  I truly never thought in 2017 there were people out there in major cities promoting hate and antiquated views - but there are.  And they're not a rarity.  That's why continuing to talk - respectfully - is critical to the cycle of life today.  And its equally as critical that even when you vehemently disagree with someone else, that you treat them with respect. 

...Unless they're actively hurting other people, then the gloves are off and I'm coming for you - because you have every right to believe what you believe, but the second it hurts another, you're out of bounds and deserve to be shown a better way.

#ShineOn

Locally Sourced

As I get older, and more or less wiser (mostly less) - I'm finding it more important to me to spend my money traveling.  Shoes and handbags are great - but the rush I get from being able to explore new places is irreplaceable.  And the more I travel, the more I learn the best way to spend my time and money on these trips.  

I'll preface this with: my type of travel is the kind of adventure that allows me to immerse myself in the local culture.  I believe that wherever I go, I'm a guest.  And as such, its my responsibility to do as the locals do.  Not only does that afford me the most authentic experience, it makes me a better visitor to that world.  I highly advise when you travel, you adopt the same viewpoint so that we can do our best to both respect and preserve the customs and traditions of the world around us.

Going local is easy.  It requires a bit more research and planning, but it's worth it for the end result.  And don't just think local for out of country travel.  These strategies apply to places right in your own backyard.  In fact - I highly recommend going local in your own country so that you can be a better local for the rest of the world who comes to see you!

Stay local

Check out local places to stay.  Choose a local inn, BnB, or utilize Air BnB.  Not only does this help the local economy but it affords you a great starting point for going local.  The people running these places are either locals or ex pats and can give you tips and tricks as far as where to eat, explore, how to travel, where is safe, where you should avoid, and so much more.  Hotels are of course easier to book, provide more of our usual comforts, and of course are the go to - but they're not setting you up for local success.  Stay local and build a relationship with the people at that property.  When you do that - you're starting the trip off 10 steps ahead of the folks that choose big chain hotels.  

Travel local

Check out local transportation.  Again, a great place to find out what's affordable and safe is by asking the locals at the property you're staying with.  For example, the subway in NYC (which is so confusing to me) is the best way to travel cheaply and effectively.  When I go to Belize next month, the easiest way to travel between islands are the water ferries.  Don't just rely on cabs and car services.  When you can walk, take public transportation or ride share, DO IT.  Listen to conversations, notice where people go, talk to people and find out what true locals do.

Eat Local

Eating is the best part of traveling.  Don't you dare visit a chain restaurant.  Ever.  Not once.  Continue the pattern of talking to locals and find out where they eat.  Go there.  Whatever that city/country is famous for making, find the best spot for it and eat there.  Food is the heart of a culture.  It's where families and friend share the most important moments of their lives.  It's almost a ritual thing.  Do your best research here and truly make it an experience.  

Experience Local

Go to the local bar.  Attend a local show.  Head out to a local ball game.  Hike the local trail.  Don't spend your time at amusement parks or movie theaters.  Don't go somewhere for the Instagram photo.  Go somewhere for the history, the culture - find out what the locals do.  Certainly don't miss Machu Pichu or the Statue of Liberty but maybe don't hit up Six Flags or stand in line for 4 hours for a donut.  Have a picnic at Washington Park in Denver.  Eat at Le Sel in Nashville. Stay with ex pats in a hut in Belize.  

Traveling local means immersing yourself into the culture of whatever city/country you're visiting.  Be open to whatever that means.  Try the food, hike the mountain, have beers with the locals.  Go in with the mindset to learn, explore, and be a guest.  Think of traveling local as being a student of the world.  And being a representative of wherever you come from.  That means being respectful, open minded, and above all - leaving the space better than when you arrived.

Happy travels my local Sequins!  

You Better Work.

People are surprised to hear that I'm a people pleaser.  When it comes to my friends and family, I crave approval.  I go above and beyond to maintain the relationship.  When my loyalty, love, or commitment to the partnership is questioned - I dwell on that.  It gives me anxiety and I want to fix it. And while I am proud of the fact that I will give my all to my people, I've started to realize how draining that can be - especially when the other people in the relationship don't do the same.

Friendships are work.  They're relationships that require time, energy, and emotions.  I'm of the opinion that believes in quality over quantity and thus I take the work of friendships seriously.  While I absolutely positively suck at phone calls - I send cards and texts and I book the trips to see you.  I do my very best to make sure my people know that they are important to me.  And I truly value those who do the same.

Not everyone expresses their effort in the same way.  Some people love phone calls.  Others send gifts.  The important part is being able to recognize when your squad is showing you they love you and value your friendship.  It's the effort.

As we get older - the level of effort is more evident.  Your circle of friends gets a lot smaller.  And you're able to weed out the ones who aren't putting in the work. 

And that's where I am today.  I'm noticing the friends who never visit me - even though I've made countless trips to see them.  I'm noticing the friends who make excuses instead of effort.  And I'm deciding to match that level of commitment to the friendship.

It's not about who spends more, who visits more, who calls more - it's about doing what you can to show how much you care.  If you've got a friend who claims to never have money and yet they find time to fly out to see their boyfriend often - they're showing you what matters more.  If you've got the friend who never has time to see you but is always out partying, they're showing you where their time commitment lies. 

If you pay attention, people will show you where you fit into their world.  I find it unnecessary to have to ask friends to come see you.  I think its silly to have to point out that a friend doesn't spend time with you.  People make time and put effort into what they value most. 

Hopefully you're a deep thinker and realize that life can get in the way and sometimes people aren't showing you that you're not important - they're just dealing with life.  They may be getting married, having kids, feeling depressed, moving to a new city - whatever it may be - it's not always a sign that you are not important.  But if you've been friends for 10 years and your friends haven't made time to visit you, sure, that can hurt.  That can be a sign to step back and save some of your effort for you and other friends. 

I think the hardest part of realizing that not all friends put the same effort forth does not mean they don't love you.  I always thought fine they don't visit me - I don't need to put effort in either.  But that's just not always the case.  Because maybe I'm not showing them I love them the way that they value.  It all goes back to being self aware.  Being self aware allows you to have more awareness of the people that are important to you.

Let's regroup, because that was a lot of messaging and probably a bit of mixed information when you break it down.  Bottom line - raise our level of awareness.  Decide where to put your effort in based on where you're getting energy from your humans.  And most of all - communicate with each other.  Show your loved ones what they mean to you and why they're your people.  At the end of the day, energy is limited - utilize your moments on Earth wisely. 

Faith is a Funny Thing

I didn't grow up practicing religion.  I don't actively believe in any formal spiritual entity.  I don't attend church.  A Priest will not officiate my wedding.  But my faith and my spirituality are very important to me.

Hear me out.  While I don't believe in organized religion, the thingsI do believe in - are a big part of my life.  I believe in guardian angels, and positive energy, and in the power of being a good person.  I believe some things cannot be explained logically.  But do I believe that there's one higher power dictating my actions and my after life?  I don't. 

 I love researching the history of various religions and understanding why people choose to practice in each faith that they do.  But religion should be what you make it.  It shouldn't be blind following.  The more people commit to a religion without questioning any single piece of that religion, the more dangerous that religion becomes.  There is truly no one religion that does it all right. 

I realize that this is probably getting me into some dangerous territory.  And potentially losing me some friends - but it's really important to me to be able to say while I don't believe what you believe, I respect what you believe with the caveat that it must not be a religion that does harm unto others.  Any religion that asks for unrelenting following, asks you to shun another - is not encouraging learning and acceptance - is not a religion of value.

Faith is a funny thing.  It's often unexplainable.  And yet it's extremely life changing for a lot of people.  The more we live in a world of chaos, violence, and hate - the more I think about the role that religion plays in those things.  And the more I encourage everyone to explore what their faith means to them and to ensure that devotion is based in acceptance and love. 

Religion has the power to heal but it also has the power to start wars.  Make sure that your religion is making you a better person working for a better world because it doesn't matter if you're living for a higher power if you're destroying life on Earth.  At the end of it all - if you did bad to serve the ultimate good - do you really think that being is going to reward you? And if She does - is that really a God you want to commit to? 

Every Day is a reason to CELEBRATE!

We all save things for special occasions.  Outfits, bottles of champagne -  whatever it is - we hold onto it for a celebration.  But why not treat every single day as a day to indulge in the best?

If I've learned anything in the past few years - its that life isn't promised, the good and the bad can change very quickly, and things are in fact - just things.  That being said, I'm still a bit of a hoarder.  I have wine I've been saving for two years, clothes I haven't worn yet because what if I need the perfect outfit for an event, and I often buy things I don't need.  So certainly although I say that the time is NOW to celebrate - I admit I need a little development of my own to practice what I preach.

I get it - the girl who is obsessed with glitter and plans parties is not out here celebrating every moment?  Alas - I am a fraud.  Well, not a fraud really, because I do tend to gift vials of glitter to people purely because every day deserves a little sparkle.  And I do wear tutus to work just because it's a Tuesday and I want to feel like a princess.  But I still save the bubbles and good red wines for special days - and then when the special days come - I claim they're not quite special enough for the good bottle.

But really - the good wine, the cute top, the fancy necklace - they're things.  I value them so much and yet when they're gone or worn - they're barely an after thought.  So what are we waiting for?  I had a really great week of work last week.  That's a reason to celebrate.  I walked for an hour today on an incline without foot pain - that deserves the good bottle of bubbles for sure!  The point is - it's not that hard to find a reason to celebrate. 

Instead of saving things for special occasions - create special occasions with what you've already got.  Stuff is stuff and things are things.  We give them value by how we use them and how we hold them up in our lives.  I'm going to start having the good wine on a Tuesday because I can.  And I'm going to wear the gorgeous shoes on a Thursday because I look good in them.  I'm goin to give Nash the fancy treats more often because he deserves it. 

Life is your special occasion.  Being alive is your reason to celebrate.  Commemorate the day and make memories because you freaking can.  I want to get to the end and remember the 1,000 times I chose to have a sparkly day - instead of the 4 times I celebrated because I wanted to save the cool things.  Throw a party because you woke up today.  And use the good china.  JK - I don't have any good china - but you can bet I've got a lot of good wine.

Boss Babe

In February I did part two of my guest blogging for Inspire Midtown.  This piece explores the age of the #BossBabe and how you can maximize being a kick ass working woman in a man's world.  Men, great piece for you to read as well.  Nothing is hotter than a man who is educated and believes in equality! Enjoy my Sequins!   

The age of the Boss Babe is finally here.  The Girl Boss, the Lady Boss – whatever you call it, it’s finally being represented in all types of media: books, television, social media, heck even Disney is on this bandwagon now!  But as great as it is to see representation of fierce women in business in the world today – we’ve still got a long way to go before we can talk about equality. 

In the workplace, I am a woman in a man’s world.  I’m in a world filled with 98% men and it’s brutal.  I’ve been told to wear the low-cut tops and high heels to attend a meeting with all men.  I’ve been asked who I’m sleeping with in the office because it’s often assumed working in sports that I’ve slept with quite the list of professional athletes.  So how do I navigate the world at work?  How do I artfully combat the boys club that is most certainly alive and well? Megyn Kelly said it best, often to speak up “is a suicide mission.”  How do I maintain my positive friendly demeanor while making sure my fierceness and my talents are thoroughly respected?   

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it forever more: become actively involved in the movement.  In order for women to thrive and to continue to evolve in the workplace, we need to act.  I highly suggest writing down your values and taking this plan into account with every professional move you make. 

1. Create Your Brand and Own Your Brand

Like any company or product, you are a brand.  Decide what you want your brand to represent and own that.  Always act in a way that reinforces what that brand is.  Once you know who you are in the business world, own it.  Be consistent in that brand.  Be proud of that brand.  Promote it shamelessly. Showcase why your brand is worth having on a team.  Be a brand that is hard to forget.

2. Think Equally and Be Strategic

Men aren’t scared to take credit.  They aren’t scared to challenge an opinion.  They aren’t scared to stand up for themselves and ask for what they deserve.  Men take the leadership role.  They don’t get called bossy.  Women should have the same mindset.Train yourself to think equally.  To think about YOU and your professional growth.  Don’t be a jerk, but don’t ever back off because you’re expected to be dainty or quiet.  Go out there and prove yourself and then ask for what you deserve.  This will require you to be exceptionally tough.  This requires thick skin.  It will be hard if you’re a more sensitive person, but I can promise you it will not only empower you, it will validate your worth. Remember, business is a strategy.

3. Be Ever Evolving

Be flexible.  Be adaptable.  Be ever evolving to the needs of your industry.  Men are constantly reading business books, attending trainings, asking mentors to take them under their wing.  Do the same.  Be open to feedback.  And be able to reject that feedback if it’s based in sexist undertones.  Men don’t let those things get to them.  They use it to fuel their fire.  Do the same.  Be a mentor.  Give back to the next generation and teach equality at work.  Do not ever stop being open to growth.

4. Set Boundaries and Speak Up

Be very clear in your words and actions.  Set boundaries for yourself and for others. If you want to be treated as an equal, do not allow sexist behavior to occur in your presence.Make it known in a professional way that you’re uncomfortable with any gestures, words, and actions that are demeaning or foster sexist attitudes.  If you are asking for equality and laugh at sexist jokes or allow inappropriate actions, you’re defeating yourself.  It’s not always easy to stand up against these words and actions but if you don’t create those boundaries early on, nobody will respect you down the road when you claim they’re not okay.

5. Never Compromise Yourself

Lastly, never be afraid to walk away.  I left a job because I stood up for myself and what was right.  I knew that speaking out was going to get me in hot water.  But I also recognized that staying in an unhealthy environment where I was thought of as less than because I am a woman wasn’t going to further my career.  I chose not to compromise my values, and thus I spoke up.It was a huge, terrifying risk, but in the end, it allowed me to grow and made me better.  I have gained more opportunities by being true to myself and most of all, myself.

Having a plan is invigorating.  Being able to tailor that plan to your unique personality is empowering.  And putting that plan into action is progress.  It’s progress towards equality and its creating opportunities for the future women of the world.  Once you’re able to create who you are in the workplace – professional, powerful, thriving, dream achieving you – and stick to that plan – you’re ready to take that skill and share it with your peers.  Because at the end of the day, the package you put forth in the world is your super power.  It’s a super power that influences opinions, is a source of guidance to others, and it’s changing the world.  As tough as it can often be to be a woman at work, it can also be an opportunity.  It’s an opportunity to write your own story and to contribute to what being a woman today means.  Personally, I’m passionate about contributing to that story and I hope you are to.

And make sure you check out Inspire Midtown (www.inspiremidtown.com) for more awesome knowledge and inspiration about equality!

What Makes You Happy Now?

I read a blog recently about a woman who went through a really hard time in her life.  She was at a standstill.  Her entire world had been shattered and it seemed impossible to go back to her everyday reality.  So she quit her job.  She packed up her life.  And she decided to travel the world.  The plan?  To keep doing what makes her happy RIGHT NOW. 

She decided to stop worrying about the burden of the future and take things one single moment at a time.  To focus on what made her happy in the moment.  And as she continued to do what made her happy, rather than worry about the incredible anxiety that comes with planning out the next forever - she slowly relaxed.  And she was actually happy.

I relate to living a life of planning, of control - of the strategy leading up to the happy ending.  But what I've missed is that there's no happy ending.  Life ends.  The journey is what is meant to be enjoyed.  You can strategize all you want - but none of us are getting out alive.  Is it really worth spending 50-60+ years working for the happy when you could just be happy now?

So here's what we're going to do - because I'm going to need a team to get me out of my head and into my heart - we are going to work on happy now.  We are going to worry just a little bit less about tomorrow and the next day and the 10 years from now.  And we are going to be realistic - because after all - I may be open to impulse - I am not open to becoming an outright hippie.  It's just not who I am.

Step One - Start Small

I've spent 31 years as a control freak.  And although I've been working to change that - it's hard to change a stubborn woman like me.  So wee start small.  If I want to take a nap instead of clean, I'm going to take the nap.  If I want a mini cupcake instead of yogurt for a snack, I'm going to eat the cupcake.  If binge watching a TV show I've missed will make me happy, catch me on the couch.  And if I want to go for a walk in the middle of my workday, I'm going to do that too.  The point - maybe you can't quit your job and travel the world right now - but you can engage in small activities that will boost your mood and elevate your happiness until you can get there.

Step Two - Decide what happy means to you

The more you listen to your heart and what makes it smile - the more you'll start to realize what makes you really happy.  Because now that you're taking a moment to get in touch with your level of happiness - you're making yourself more aware of what really does fill your soul.  Start to write that down.  Rate things based on level of enjoyment.  Become acutely aware of what happy means to you and start channeling your focus in those areas to really maximize instant happy. 

Step Three - Think Bigger

Once you become an expert in your own happiness, find a way to turn the little happiness into big happiness.  Get strategic.  Make everything happy.  Realize that when you're not happy, or doing something that doesn't bring you joy - you can check yourself and engage in a way that makes the moment happier.  Not everything is going to make us happy - but when we are more aware of what does - we are more easily able to get back to happy more quickly.  Additionally, say travel is what makes you happiest - turn those lunchtime walks to weekend trips.  And those weekend trips into week long adventures.  Turn your small moments into big ones.  Instead of buying things - walk on the beach, hike a mountain - you're mixing instant happy with saving money for long term happy. 

Life isn't about planning a happy ending, it's about making every single day happy.  We can't control what happens to us and we cannot control anyone else.  But we can be active participants in our own joy.  We can change our attitude and change our entire life with how we choose to live it.  I've always believed that happiness is a controllable.  It's a choice.  And if its what you value - you'll make it a priority.  Not tomorrow, not for the future, but NOW - and for the rest of your life.